Me And My Three Teeth Live For The Baby Jesus! AAHH!! AAAHHH!!!
Just in case you guys didn't know who the crazy-crazy was down below. She was on "Trading Spouses", which Will and I watched about five times back in the day. And we were fortunate enough to catch this episode.
As our jaws dropped, I turned to Will and said, "You KNOW that the producers of the show were all like, 'SCORE!'"
In her words, "I have taken a stand. I have taken a stand. I am not a fence rider."
No, honey. You're certainly not.
*** In Ray Abruzzo's words, "Dear God, please protect me from your followers."
OF COURSE, that's what it was. That was my very first thought too.
People really need to stop taking the bible so literally. It's super embarrassing. Stupid, really. Super stupid. Psychotic and super stupid. And it's just bad form. It's like they're 5 year olds amped up on Mountain Dew right before bedtime. Do you know what I mean? Little assholes fucking bouncing off the walls...
Idiocy at its finest.
Let us get on to at least some logic... even if it is without panties...
Well, before we get on with the task at hand, I thought you might want to see some true majesty. The following photos from a diver swimming with a 50ft Humpback Whale (and NOT in a fish tank, bishes) are a contribution from my sista, Suebob. Thanks, baby!
You guys, you've GOT to click on these images to make them larger... Or visit the link to their origin above. They're too incredible not to.
So, in relation to the enslavement of Orcas and dolphins for our "entertainment"... Of having WHALES do TRICKS in a FISH TANK...
So yes, Sarah Palin is greedy. She's a hypocrite. And she's a quitter...
She actually reminds me of a big piece of bubble gum that's been chewed too long. She's still pretty to look at, but there's no flavor there. In fact, there's nothing there. Just something to stick under the desk or throw in a hillbilly's big hair.
Umm... Not that I've ever done either of those things. But, you get the picture.
On her left palm - the following words scrawled in black ink: "Energy, Budget cuts (with "budget" crossed out), Tax, Lift American Spirits." In an ironic twist during the speech, Ms. Palin worked in a jab against President Obama's often-mocked use of TelePrompTers. (source)
And she mocks the President for using teleprompters???
I'm still not going to let her off the hook for stirring up controversy and lying over "death panels". She spreads propaganda for the sake of self-promotion. And that propaganda spreads fear and anger over mis-information, over things that JUST AREN'T TRUE. Over lies. She spreads lies for the sake of getting ahead. And those lies, literally costs people their lives... Under the guise of untreated illnesses and diseases due to a lack of health care.
Her son may have Down's Syndrome, but SHE'S the one who's retarded.
There's a difference. There's a big difference.
And she's a detriment to the progress of this country and its people.
"One never knows when the homosexual is about. He may appear "normal".
Don't "thumb a ride", bishes. And "be careful if they are too friendly". Apparently, we DEMAND an intimate relationship with members of our own sex.
And not visible like "Small Pox"?
Umm...
Sometimes it is. But hell, if you're going to be "sick", why not celebrate with sheer fabric, exposed ass crack, pitchforks, head-dresses and rollerblades. I know I do.
(Special Thanks for this rather disturbing video-clip contribution to our dashing correspondent in D.C. Thanks, Dickie! "You see, Ralph is sick...")
"Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh and televangelist Pat Robertson are being scolded for their comments in the immediate aftermath of an earthquake in Haiti that has killed tens of thousands, according to early estimates.
Critics from both the left and right are denouncing their remarks as insensitive to the disaster and attempts to score political points off human tragedy.
Speaking on his radio show Wednesday, Limbaugh said the earthquake has played into Obama’s hands, allowing the president to look “compassionate” and “humanitarian” while at the same time bolstering his standing in both the “light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country.”
He added: “We've already donated to Haiti. It’s called the U.S. income tax.” (source)
"I suspect the vacant, purposeless lives you both live now are hell enough already." - Keith Olbermann
I couldn't have said it better myself.
So, I must now invoke the power of a naked President Obama and his UNICORN to justice and topple fat-ass Limbaugh once more.
GET HIM, BOYS!! CHAARRRGGGGEEEE!!!
And NAKED President Obama AND HIS UNICORN SAVE THE DAY BY BLASTING
BLIMPY LIMBAUGH INTO THE AIR!!! YYEEAAHHH!! TAKE THAT, ASSHOLE!!!
And again, after so much work...
They went on vacation to Hawaii. Or maybe Tahiti, but I know how much my baby's Daddy likes Hawaii. So, he's probably there with that slut Unicorn. Both of them. Together. The Unicorn and President Obama. Naked. And the Unicorn put sunscreen on the President's back. Or lubed his hole. I'm not really sure which. Maybe both.
"oh small balls Anonymous, small-minded, half-witted Anonymous, demonstrating it so, simply because you're "Anonymous"? Thank you for the morning laugh, truly. "fuckinng" TWO "N's"!!!
So, it's certainly okay for you to think I'm an idiot. I've been called much worse and after going through everything I've gone through in my life, your little comment has become nothing more than fodder, so I thank you for that.
I don't really appreciate you implicating my friend who made a comment on that blog. She's an incredibly beautiful person and doesn't deserve to be called an "idiot". But, I also know that she's gone through quite a bit in her life as well, so she'll no doubt consider the "Anonymous" source and not take you seriously.
OH, I may have gotten ahead of you, forgive me... Do you know what "implicating" means?
ANYWAY, I usually try to leave something positive for my readers or at least something funny... You know, in my own idiotic opinion. (Now, don't get confused, that's the same word you used, but in the form of an adjective. You used it in the form of a "noun", Napoleon Dynamite. GOSH!)
But again, it's that "irony" thing I LOVE. (Please refer to above link for definition if you've forgotten the meaning.)
So, thinking you're a bit of an ass, I leave you with some inspiring words...
If you don't Believe You don't Succeed If you won't Apply You won't Achieve
OH, and one more thing. Just because I can tell you're a dog lover...
Richard Cohen is a gay-to-straight "therapist" and his book has been used in Uganda to help justify an anti-homosexual movement that culminated in a legislative effort known as the "Kill The Gays Bill."
To literally kill gay people.
Ignorant and uneducated, unfounded rhetoric having dangerous and deadly consequences? Imagine...
Oh Uganda, you're so edgy. Always coming up with new reasons to kill people. Yawn. That is just SO overdone... Don't you think? I mean, yes... There was a time when everyone who was anyone was doing it. It was totally chic and daring. I mean, like all the IN governments were doing it and revolutionaries were doing it. And yes, some governments are still doing it... and hillbillies are doing it. And druggies... And... why, even AMERICAN HEALTH CARE INSURANCE companies are getting in on the action. Just more covertly... But, anyway. What I'm trying to say is, why not try something new, huh? Like maybe you should worry about how many or your citizens have to compete for the sidewalks with openly flowing sewage on the streets. That'd be a good place to start.
AND... I bet if you appointed a gay person to that job, not only would those sidewalks and streets be gleaming, they'd be quaint and charming. Brick or cobblestone, I'm guessing... At the very least, faux. And there'd be sidewalk cafes and art galleries along those boulevards in NO TIME. See? I'm just talking about it and already they're boulevards.
AND... If they didn't do a good job, and all that cropped up were more Liquor stores and gun shops, or the persistent lingering of human SHIT, THEN you could kill 'em.
But hey, whatever. Just my big ole gay two cents. I know, I know, you want to "kill me"... oooouu...
Back to Rachel's smack-down of Dick Cohen (who secretly wants me to tickle his bum-bum and tea-bag him).
Rachel Maddow said, "I realize I was taking the risk of helping promote you and the way that you think about these things by putting you on the air, but I do think that you've actually got blood on your hands."
Later she added, "Just in case this gets heard in Uganda ... Richard Cohen is not licensed by any American or any other licensing body whatsoever."
And by the way, he's selling something... like "educational" material.
I wonder if I can arrange to have Rachel Maddow's baby? It would probably be easier the other way around, but I think we've gotten used to challenges.
God HATES Corduroy And FINALLY The World Knows About It
Thanks to our brilliant on-line marketing guru, Jim Kukral, for this glowing contribution. Thanks, Jimmy K!
An angry loser (right) came to Syracuse University to make a fool of herself by spreading pathetic hatred and was treated to a happy mutant style stunt by this smiling student, named Chris Pesto (left).
"I decided that because this woman thought it was okay to make me feel uncomfortable in my home, I would retaliate and make her feel just as uncomfortable, if not more. This woman was wearing a ankle-length corduroy skirt, which, as we all know, is a fashion nono. So, in order to make her feel uncomfortable, I stood next to her and held a sign that said Corduroy skirts are a sin! I don't think I have ever drawn so much attention in my life. SO many people asked to take a picture with me, I got laughs, high fives and there were the few that even cursed off the woman standing behind me.
As I drew interest to what was going on with myself and the woman with the hateful sign, I started to draw a crowd that stood with me in support. Before I knew it I had 100+ people holding signs for gay rights asking people to honk their horns to support. I was interviewed by a news station, and more than 5 student organization papers, and the post standard of syracuse.
I never expected anybody to come stand by me and support and I appreciate it so much that everyone came! It meant so much and it proved to those ignorant people that we aren't afraid, and we will put up a fight.
I'm proud that Syracuse has such a homosexual friendly community."
So, this video contribution comes to us from our brilliant playwright/composer correspondent, Ryan. Thanks, Ryan!
At first I felt kind of bad for the little scared black cat fella. I always have a soft spot in my heart for the under-dog. Then, I put Maine in his place, and suddenly, I found myself the bitchy one all ready to rip some serious fur... Sorry, bigotry and oppression does that to me.
AP "LOS ANGELES – Actor James Franco says he has dropped a plan to give a commencement speech at the University of California, Los Angeles, a move that may have been prompted by pressure from students.
Franco issued a statement saying he canceled his June 12 appearance because of conflicts with preproduction demands for his next film.
However, the "Pineapple Express" star had been the object of opposition from students who said he was not the right fit for the commencement speech.
"The problem with him as a speaker comes down to the fact he was a peer for so many of us," UCLA senior Erin Moore said. "He was in our class. He's not a role model. And he hasn't had time to accomplish anything with his degree."
Franco, 31, enrolled at UCLA in 1996 and graduated last year with a degree in creative writing. He would have been the youngest person and most recent graduate to deliver a commencement speech at UCLA.
Now, please... James Franco is just a frickin' hottie if there ever was one... And he sleeps like a baby. Just look at him! This is when he was over the other night.
He had been reading poetry to me and got tired from his busy schedule of filming and acting and being on the receiving end of ignorance from peeps like Erin Less (I mean, Moore). LOOK AT HIM! So sweet... and hot. I should've tea-bagged him right then and there.
Then, I was all, "WAKE UP, BISH!! WAKE UP!! AIN'T NO SLEEPIN' GOIN' ON! DANG!" So, he woke up.
And I slapped a bow-tie around his neck 'cause that's how I roll and prepared his tummy with warm oil. Yes, my arm and hand have become quite graceful and bare of hair and I had my luxurious locks pulled back in a Scrunchie. Why do you ask?
Then after I lit some candles, I was all, "Hold on, James! I needs me some popcorn, bish! Just hold on, baby!" 'Cause I likes popcorn with my menz.
And he was all, "MMMPPPFFFHHHH", 'cause you know, his mouth was taped up. But, I think both you and I KNOW that he was commenting on how hot I am and what a super-porn, rockstar ass I've got going on.
And I'm really reluctant to share these next shots with you because they're so personal to me and James, but I'm going to because I like you guys and well, I just feel like I should share them with you... 'cause again, that's how I roll.
So, the top pics of the following collage are of us at the beach. James had been swimming and then, I went for more popcorn and soda and he was all mad yelling at me with no pants on because he hates it when I leave him. (And just ignore that whole, "James Franco in James Dean" and "James Franco in Sonny" crap... I don't know WHAT that's all about... damn film developers RUINED my collage.)
So, then yeah... The middle left pic is when he was 12 or something and we were playing Legos with his shirt off and then the right middle pic is when he's getting all on top of me and that's when I was a young woman. And then the bottom left pic is of James in the bathroom wondering where all the hair products went and then the middle bottom pic is of my graceful and bare of hair hand with a long thumbnail getting ready to spank James on his tushie from way far back. And then, after I spanked him and he yelled at me, I shut myself in a room sobbing and the bottom right pic is him trying to talk me out... naked.
Well, the students who were against my honey speaking at the commencement, go on to talk about how yes, they're proud of him and it's nothing against him personally, but that he isn't as esteemed as say, "Michelle Obama". And that for the caliber of UCLA, it should be someone of her ranking.
That's quite a message that Erin Moore and her peers are sending out with their "education".
I remember when I was 15 years old. I made a prank phone call with a friend to another friend. I don't remember what I said, or why I said it. I just remember that it really hurt the friend's feelings.
Well, a couple of weeks later, I was at a festival and some big dumb thug came up to me and said, "Come with me. Bruce wants to speak with you..." He was rubbing my neck while we walked as though he were preparing me for a fight. I was scrawny, 15 and scared. I walked with a lump in my throat and on the verge of pissing my pants. He walked me over to where my friend, the victim of my prank phone call was with her boyfriend, "Bruce".
Bruce proceeded to yell at me, while my friend watched. And the guy who was standing behind me held me in place until "Bruce" was finished yelling. A whole group of them looked on and I was humiliated.
I tried to talk to my friend, "Bruce's" girlfriend, but he yelled, "DON'T TALK TO HER! GET OUT OF HERE!!"
So, I walked away completely embarrassed and angry.
I later found a younger cousin of mine at the festival who I used to be quite close with... She's a couple of years younger than I am, and we grew up together. So, while I was 15, she was 13... I told her what happened and how mad I was. And she just calmly said, "Well, how would you feel if you were in their shoes?"
It was a total light bulb moment. A complete, "AAA-HHAAA!" And I've never forgotten it.
It was simple. She talked of the notion of empathizing and she was 13. And more importantly, I listened. Thankfully.
I eventually saw that couple at a party... It was probably a couple of months later. And I apologized to both of them. They accepted and we moved on. But, I never forgot what my cousin said. And now, some 25 years later, I think how difficult true empathy is for people to grasp. But, when empathy is embraced, how unbelievably profound it is... and is nothing short of brilliantly essential in respectful communication, in understanding and true love.
And what a lesson that was... for a student of 15 and a teacher of 13.
I have a feeling that we all have some type of wisdom that we might not often follow ourselves, but can still share nonetheless, no matter what our age. There's a saying that the reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is because we should be listening twice as much as we're talking.
Initially, I understand Erin Moore's reaction and simple reasoning. But, if given the chance, I would've encouraged her to look further. To have more of an open mind... one that real education encourages, instead of talking so much, to maybe listen more.
So much for Lady Justice being blind-folded for a reason.
Will just walked upstairs from his workshop in the basement. And I was actually weeping here at the Dining Room table...
I didn't expect it to hit me like this... I didn't expect the California Court to go against the grain of its bigoted voters, its stupid citizens, but it just hit me sober. Painfully sober.
And if you've never been marginalized or oppressed, you have no idea how it feels.
You have no fucking idea.
If you did, you would NEVER want anyone to feel left out. Not ever.
It is with an overwhelming sense of sadness that we learned today that the California Supreme Court has ruled that Proposition 8 - the voter initiative to deny the civil rights of marriage to gay and lesbian taxpayers - has been upheld. Our right to enjoy the full benefits and legal protections afforded by marriage in California - only just recently won - have been taken away by a slim electoral majority. While not entirely unexpected, it is profoundly disappointing that the highest court in California ruled that the right to marry can be taken away from a minority by a simple vote.
We believe this decision to be morally and constitutionally wrong, and will continue to vigorously fight it through all means available to us.
In response to this gross miscarriage of justice, hundreds of community-based organizations throughout California are mobilizing, and organizing a positive, pro-active response. We take great comfort in the millions of Californians - gay, straight, rich, poor, black, brown, white...etc, - who join us in fighting this assault on our - and their - civil rights.
Please join us at any of the following events:
SOUTH COUNTY - RALLY TONIGHT at 6pm at the S.B. Courthouse (bring signs) - PROTEST MARCH this Saturday starting at Noon at the S.B. Courthouse (bring water & signs and wear comfortable walking shoes).
NORTH COUNTY - RALLY TONIGHT at 6pm at the corner of Betteravia and Miller Streets in Santa Maria (bring signs)
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