What's Necessary

So, a little over a week ago, Will and I went to see Tom Ford's film, "A Single Man" with our friends, Tristan and Clancy.



It was a really good film. Set in Los Angeles in the early 60's, it's very stylistic and visually compelling.

And I think Tom Ford does an excellent job of portraying the acuteness and closer scope of vision, metaphorically and literally, that we all have when tragedy strikes.

I strongly recommend seeing it at the theaters while it's out. If you haven't yet seen it, I wouldn't watch any of the clips below. But, to see the high stylization of the film, and how palpable "George's" (played by Colin Firth) heartache is on the big screen is well worth it. It will certainly lose some punch when it's viewed on a small screen, as any movie does.

After the first few minutes of the film, an older woman who was sitting in the row directly in front of us and virtually minutes away from death began talking loudly. She started, "I THINK THIS IS GAY... I THINK THIS MOVIE IS GAY... I THINK THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT GAY PEOPLE!!"

Her ultra-white-hair-covered head was bobbing up and down and turning every which way as though a wreaking ball was going to take her out at any minute. She continued on her rant for the hearing-impaired, "I'M PRETTY SURE THIS MOVIE IS GAY! I'M GOING TO SEE IF I CAN GET MY MONEY BACK!!"

She got up, climbed over 5 people, disrupting everyone and stormed out of the theater never to return. Her permanent exit had NOTHING to do with me following her and stuffing her into a garbage can in the Ladies' Restroom, if you're wondering.

We actually thought it was quite funny and we all guffawed over it.

I have always enjoyed placing the elderly into trash cans. It's a favorite past-time of mine.

So, anyway, during the film, "George and Jim's" 16 year relationship really wasn't taken seriously. Even by the people closest to them. And that was heart-breaking in its own regard.

It was a beautiful film and though it was melancholy, I didn't feel sad so much as I felt grateful. Reminded how temporary it all is... Reminded to be thankful for this very moment, for that's all we really have.

After the film, the four of us went for sushi. And at the dinner table, "Tristan and Clancy" presented us with a card, which also contained a generous gift card inside to one of our favorite shops. It was in honor of our marriage, which they felt they hadn't properly acknowledged. "Tristan and Clancy" are a heterosexual couple, if you're wondering.

We both objected, saying that they didn't have to go through any trouble and that it really wasn't necessary...

They said it wasn't any trouble and it was necessary.

Well, when we opened the card, the front of it said, "BELIEVE".

And on the inside,

"Believe in your dreams. Believe in your love. Believe in forever.

Have a Happy Marriage.

With Love Always,

Clancy and Tristan"

And suddenly, I had a hard time holding back the tears from my dampened eyes...

Some of my oldest, dearest friends (gay and straight), still refer to Will as my "boyfriend". And while I don't refer to him as my "husband", but rather as my "partner". He is. He IS my husband. And I am his.

And acknowledgment from those you love can send one's spirit SOARING. And I was reminded of that.

Thank you... THANK YOU, "Clancy and Tristan". With your belief in us, you help us to believe in ourselves. And that's the biggest gift anyone can ever give...










* "UNCLE! UNCLE!!"
* Where Love Flies
* "I Kevin, Take You Will, To Be Seven Letters..."

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