"All your life you are told the things you cannot do...
"All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this.
"THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.
The Charnas Family Puerto Rican Christmas Conga Line Tradition
So, yesterday was a beautiful day; that crystal clear blue sky with a crisp Winter air, but I eventually became a little depressed and then unfortunately, bitchy. So, I went to bed early. As usual, Christmas had just gone too fast for my liking.
I want to share with you a Christmas family tradition that my Mother started some time back, just in the event that you either do the same, or maybe would like to adopt it for your own. Because, it's always fun. Even if at first some of us don't feel like partaking, by the end we're always glad we did. (And just for the record, this can be done with 1 or more people, including animal companions - carry them - unless they're horses or cows, then just drag them along. This can be done at any point over the Christmas season, beginning with Thanksgiving. The more opportunities, the better...)
When Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad" comes on (with my Father at the stereo's helm), my entire family (that would be at least 21 of us, give or take a few) get up, hold hands and proceed to do a conga-line through the entire house. But, we hold hands, not shoulders like a traditional conga-line. It's just easier that way and the line can move faster and cover more ground. Although, we just about bounce my parents' china cabinet over and have actually broken things before, so be forewarned.
Once the lead gets tired of leading, they dramatically turn their head the other direction, which notifies everyone behind them to turn around and start dancing in the opposite direction. The line can (and should) change direction multiple times. We dance for the duration of the song. AND we sing along with Jose at the top of our lungs and hoop and holler as well. It's as though we're possessed by Puerto Ricans/Mexicans for 3 minutes and 5 seconds. Although, I'm sure we're not as graceful and authentic as the real thing. But, we're close.
I had told Will of the family tradition long before he met everyone, but I'm not sure he was prepared for the actual event, in all its glory, to take place. When Will first came into the family and was introduced to everyone (a little overwhelming being that Will comes from a rather small, quiet family and I come from a Greek/Irish heritage that lives out loud...), we were visiting from California for Christmas.
Unfortunately enough, he was literally on the can dropping the kids off at the pool when Dad fired up the song. My oldest brother proceeded to pound on the door (this was upstairs, because the conga-line had travelled up the stairs before eventually heading back down again) every time they passed the bathroom. He kept knocking on the door yelling for Will to come out. In fact, EVERYONE was yelling for poor Will to get off the toilet and join the conga line. I think they were relishing that they had a new inductee. I was in another bathroom and knew that even though I was in a towel, just having gotten out of the shower, I had to partake. So, I danced in my towel.
And Will, being the great sport that he is, cleaned up as soon as he could and came rushing out, grabbing the last hand and danced his way down the stairs. I can only imagine he thought, "What the hell are they doing?? And what have I gotten myself into?? I can't even take a crap without these people being a part of it..."
The version of "Feliz Navidad" always must be the following version of Jose Feliciano's. Thus, the goofy video-clip. (I have NO idea who the two people are that briefly show up in the video.) I found other, more recent versions, but they're just not the same.
If you're even entertaining the thought of adopting this into your own family, I strongly encourage it. Add hats or wigs for that extra bit of icing if you'd like. All I can tell you is that it's always fun. And like conversing around a dinner table, respectfully, yet also poking fun at one another. Like laughing hard and smiling as big as you can, as often as you can, there is no substitute for dancing. And Christmas, like LIFE in general, just goes too fast not to.
FELIZ NAVIDAD, BISHES! BAILAR! BAILAR! MAS RAPIDO!!
And please feel free to add Koalas, especially if you want your eyes scratched out.
Ahh... the 80's. We could probably just sum up that decade with the excess of hair. And maybe brooches. Okay, and maybe cinched, pegged jeans.
As much as Will and I love George Michael, the scene where he's wearing the fur-lined hat and a face full of make-up is just awesome. Like a big ole dramatic snow queen.
So again... LOVE the song and his airy voice. But, the comments take it.
mamzelledalton wrote, "Merry Christmas from... a Canadian in France? Happy holidays, world! :)"
And eurovsamerik, "Merry X-mas from Lithuania ;]"
Kevintjez (no relation) wrote, "Merry christmas from the Netherlands :)"
hristinaish, "Merry Christmas from Bulgaria!!! :)"
And there were more, from Poland, Finland and Holland, Hong Kong and Taiwan and Singapore. They were from Hungary, Slovakia and Austria. From Greece and ChongQing, Spain and Qatar. And from Norway and Romania, Iceland and Ireland.
In fact, there were 14,657 more comments and counting.
They were from everywhere...
And being the sap that I am, it got me. How we're all on this beautiful blue marble hanging out there together. All siblings, not really that far removed, with this gorgeous mother. And of course, without her, there would be no gift of life. We would be nothing. There would be no ground beneath our feet, no air for breath, no water for thirst, no trees for shelter and warmth, and no friends or family or loving animal companions to hug for comfort. There would be no humor for laughter and no music to dance to. There would be nothing. As far as nothing could be.
I know you know all of this... I can only speak for myself when I say that sometimes I just forget how truly, truly profound it all is. So, speaking of gifts...
We're all in this package together. Everyday of the year, every year of our lives... So, Happy Today, my brothers and sisters from all over the globe. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy Today.
A lion, tiger and bear recovered in a drug bust in 2001 have been living together ever since at an animal rescue center near Atlanta. Leo, Shere Khan and Baloo are like brothers; caretakers say separating them would bring depression.
"Louie decided to leave me his apartment keys for a week, so a group of friends and I decide to wrap his entire apartment in wrapping paper."
It's funny. And wasteful, yes. But still funny. If I were you, I wouldn't bother watching "Louie's reaction". It's anti-climatic and he was rather dumbfounded, understandably.
So yet again, what really steals the show are the ensuing comments. There were people who thought it was funny and fake and wasteful. And then there's always that bunch that thankfully add that extra little somethin'-somethin'.
There was "rootedbox" who scolded, "thanks for creating so much waste! the joke is on all of us! thanks!"
Oh, Mr. Box, don't be too hard on them. I'd suggest focusing your anger on say... Standard Oil or the "Let's-Burn-Coal-'Til-We-Choke-And-Die" companies. You know, the whole fossil fuel fiasco... What's that you say, Mr. Box? It's more difficult to get mad at them because you're actually a customer of theirs and thus support their practices?? Oh... I see... Well, still. Save your anger until everyone starts doing this.
Then "jazmin826" squealed out, "hahahah omg is that for me hahahaha so awesome love the prank lol."
Jazmin, I think we got the part where you thought it was funny. The "lol" was a little over-kill, honey.
"rachaelveronica235" exclaimed, but I think it might be a question, "When will a cobra come down my rat hole!"
Dear Woman With Two First Names, I have no idea what you're fucking talking about. Are you referring to sex? Is "Cobra" code for penis and "Rat hole" code for vagina? Like... Are you frustrated so you're exclaiming your question about when you're going to get porked? 'Cause how would we know that? But, if that is really what you're wondering, we hope that it's sooner rather than later. Just please use birth control. Lots of it.
Then, there was "cheeseball49" who asked, "Why is everything is your house wrapped?"
Mr. Cheeseball, I believe you wanted to use "in" there, rather than "is", but why bother correcting you if you can't figure out what's going on in the first place. Which leads me to believe that "cheeseball" is actually your head. Sorry, I'm not very encouraging, maybe I will be in 2010.
Now, "NawinAhmad" advised, "U really need to get laid mate!!!"
So Nawin, (I always loved the name "Nawin"...) if someone, ANYONE plays a practical joke, they shouldn't bother?? They should just fuck? Aren't we fucking enough?
Then, "CHEFSUMDAY" yelled, "NOBODY TOLD THEM HE IS JEWISH."
Umm... Mr. Day, first of all, you don't need to yell. We're all right here. And second of all, if this is indeed true, it doesn't matter. I don't think it's really Christian-specific. I mean yes, it's CHRISTmas paper, but I think the point was the joke.
"JapsEye2" suggested, "Good, but you should have logged one off into the toilet then wrapped it in xmas paper and left it sitting there."
Mr. Eye, Yes. That's exactly what I thought when I watched it too. They totally missed out by not wrapping a turd.
"weiner66" sleepily said, "aaayyyeeeyayyyeeeawning my goddamn head off right now."
And "TheGeekproduction" said, "what a waste of paper fools? u ppl ruin earth omg lol?"
Are you sure your name isn't Mr. "TheGeekdestruction"? 'Cause yeah, it's just going to be hysterical when the earth is destroyed. I can't wait to lol over it.
And "skavinkrew" confessed, "Thats awsome!! lmao I could beleive it but I saw it on CNN.. That is awsome the only thing else they should have done is wrap a girl and put here under the tree..."
Now Skavin, you had a bunch of typos. But that aside, yes, right after wrapping a piece of shit in the toilet, that just would've been the next best thing. Grab a girl, wrap her up and stick her under the tree. That's just brilliant. They're going to be so mad that they didn't think of that.
"georgewilly100" wrote, "this is crap."
That apparently should've been wrapped and left in the toilet.
"kickthebass" said, "I couldn't help but get enraged, thinking about the time and effort that went into this."
Now, Mr. Bass, Are you enraged because of the time and effort that went into the prank? Or are you enraged because of thinking about the time and effort involved? Like... It hurt your brain or something? You just seem a little edgy right now. But then again, your first name is "Kickthe". So, I guess that should've been my first clue.
"Captain Colon" lamented, "thanks for ruining christmas asshole."
Captain Colon, I couldn't agree more. Christmas is now, just ruined, RUINED, RUINED, RUINED!!
But then, on a cold Winter's night, as the shepherds were watching over their sheep, chasing away the darkness a bright star shined in the North and was brighter than all the others... "Distinctforever" wrote, "Totally amazing and beautiful. SO much effort involved. Wow!"
And calmly my bitter laughter subsided and a quietness descended upon the snow covered plains of my soul. And nothing was stirring, not even in my rat-hole. And I said unto thee; Miss Distinct, In an age when so often people waste no time in tearing one another down, I think you happen to be very sweet. Very sincere acknowledging their efforts and therefore, actually, "Distinct". I hope that you are indeed that way forever.
And we shall all be better for it. Gathering ourselves at the hearth of your heart and warming our hands by your tender fire. May lights like yours never go out, so we'll have something to guide us through the Winter nights and keep us warm.
Paper MANche? Or... Origami Quick Change? Or... Paper Cuts On My Peeper And Boobies? No? Alright then...
Ennio Marchetto is a world renowned comedian who has created his own theatrical language mixing mime, dance, music and quick change costumes made out of card-board and paper. His show has received numerous awards and international critical acclaim.
He's from Italy . He does impressions of stars and singers using these paper costumes that transform from one person into another.
This contribution comes to us from our shinning star out in Santa Barbara, Claudette. Thanks, baby! I. Love. It... He's brilliant. Truly.
Two For Tuesday, Or... I Hope I Don't Break My Teeth On The Floor, Or... Maybe I Should Think About Breaking My Teeth On The Floor
So... I'm guessing that they don't put any type of tread on the bottoms of those things? I mean, an afro isn't that heavy, is it?
And I don't know about you all, but I'm going straight to "Studio Montarna" for my holiday makeover. 'Cause... well... wow. You just can't argue with those results. (Please feel free to click on the image to enlarge it. The "Before" shot is well worth it.)
(Special thanks to our hottie-pa-tottie correspondent, Enrique, for this contribution. Muy bien, amigo... Mucho gracias.)
Okay, so this being the countdown week to Christmas, whether you're Jewish or Muslim, or Christian or consider yourself Wiccan, or Hindi or nothing at all, I don't really care. I think we should proclaim it a season of Goodwill To All.
Imagine... With no one excluded...
So, after the next quick commentary, for the remainder of the week and in the spirit of "Goodwill To All", I'm going to try my damnedest to bring you NO BAD NEWS!! We just have a small stop to make in Lindsay Lohan's funky town...
Where she launched her latest leggings line, 6126, which includes this pair of tattered tights that retail for $80.
I told one of my best buds, "Reenie Scurvy Kookamonga" about it and she just replied, "Well, yeah... that's what skanks wear."
I thought they had to earn that though, no? I mean, prior to now, a skank doesn't START out wearing torn tights does she (or he)? Doesn't she have to work for that? Like... by drinking too much or snorting too much blow and she falls down a ba-zillion times flashing her vulva or his balls from their mini-skirt before landing in a ditch for the night?
(Bellybutton, it's the new vulva.)
And when I really think about it, why by-pass all the fun? Why just BUY them that way? You miss so much!
People don't want to work for anything anymore... They just want it handed to them. Well, that's not the REAL WORLD OF THE SKANK, PEOPLE!!! Jeezuz...
Okay, so I have a feeling that most of you do not consider the information of Lindsay Lohan's ripped stocking collection as "bad news", per se. I suppose it is, only in the event that you're considering buying them.
So, enough talk of garbage retail, on to the week ahead!
Mabel King is going to help us ring in the Season of Goodwill to All and NO BAD NEWS, BISHES.
A young African boy with a haunting back story starts school in Ireland, and finds out quickly exactly what it means to be the new kid. Winner of Best Narrative Short at the 2008 Tribeca Film Festival and nominated for an Oscar.
I love "Hazel". We should all be so lucky to have one like her among us.
Okay, so I'm becoming exasperated... I know that I told you I wasn't going to bitch about what we're doing to our food ("at least until next time" - See? I left myself an out.), but I couldn't stand that you might not know about this. So, without further adieu:
reaching for tomatoes, but they shouldn't be in cans. Ugh.
1. Canned Tomatoes
The expert: Fredrick vom Saal, PhD, an endocrinologist at the University of Missouri who studies bisphenol-A
The problem: The resin linings of tin cans contain bisphenol-A, a synthetic estrogen that has been linked to ailments ranging from reproductive problems to heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. Unfortunately, acidity (a prominent characteristic of tomatoes) causes BPA to leach into your food. Studies show that the BPA in most people's body exceeds the amount that suppresses sperm production or causes chromosomal damage to the eggs of animals. "You can get 50 mcg of BPA per liter out of a tomato can, and that's a level that is going to impact people, particularly the young," says vom Saal. "I won't go near canned tomatoes."
The solution: Choose tomatoes in glass bottles (which do not need resin linings), such as the brands Bionaturae and Coluccio. You can also get several types in Tetra Pak boxes, like Trader Joe's and Pomi.
And yes, we should be reaching for salmon as well, just not
down on the farm. Those crazy bishes DON'T LIVE ON FARMS, Y'ALL.
2. Farmed Salmon
The expert: David Carpenter, MD, director of the Institute for Health and the Environment at the University at Albany and publisher of a major study in the journal Science on contamination in fish.
The problem: Nature didn't intend for salmon to be crammed into pens and fed soy, poultry litter, and hydrolyzed chicken feathers. As a result, farmed salmon is lower in vitamin D and higher in contaminants, including carcinogens, PCBs, brominated flame retardants, and pesticides such as dioxin and DDT. According to Carpenter, the most contaminated fish come from Northern Europe, which can be found on American menus. "You can only safely eat one of these salmon dinners every 5 months without increasing your risk of cancer," says Carpenter, whose 2004 fish contamination study got broad media attention. "It's that bad." Preliminary science has also linked DDT to diabetes and obesity, but some nutritionists believe the benefits of omega-3s outweigh the risks. There is also concern about the high level of antibiotics and pesticides used to treat these fish. When you eat farmed salmon, you get dosed with the same drugs and chemicals.
The solution: Switch to wild-caught Alaska salmon. If the package says fresh Atlantic, it's farmed. There are no commercial fisheries left for wild Atlantic salmon.
Like a healthy salmon, it doesn't come easy.
Sometimes, we've got to work against the current, but hey, aren't we worth it?
I know I am...
And I don't need L'Oreal to be telling me that shit. Dang.... I KNOW I be hot.
(Please forgive me for the recycled photo. I no longer have a beard. And I haven't worn that little get-up for at least two weeks.)
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
"You will now be forced to buy insurance. If you don't, you'll pay a fine," said Dean, a physician. "It's an insurance company bailout." Interviewed on ABC's "Good Morning America," he said the bill has some good provisions, "but there has to be a line beyond which you think the bill is bad for the country."
"This is an insurance company's dream," the former Democratic presidential candidate said. "This is the Washington scramble, and it's a shame."
Dean asserted that the Senate's health care bill would not prohibit insurance companies from denying coverage for preexisting conditions and he also said it would allow the industry to charge older people far more than others for premiums.
"You may never have heard the full rendition of Il Silenzio, otherwise known as Taps. This is a most beautiful rendition. The girl's name is Melissa Venema and is playing with maestro Andre Rieu from Maastriecht in the Netherlands. She is 13 and has been performing for years. This performance is in 2008 Masstriecht where city officials sealed off the town square and closed everything down so they get perfect noise control."
Thank you, Ray, for this fine and rather civilized contribution.
It's astounding to see how arrogant people are about what they don't know. Blows my mind every time... The idiot's hero. It's nothing short of an assault on the intellect... as though logic and deductive reasoning should be shunned and feared, rather than something to emulate and revere.
Both one of a kinds. And now, Mother Shipton resides in a private collection.
Will was featured quite awhile back for his one of a kind "Father Christmas" works in the book;
Santa Dolls, Historical To Contemporary, by Ann Bahar
"A 20 inch Father Christmas sculpture constructed using traditional creche style figure techniques. Original sculpted head cast in chalkware and hand painted. Cloth, cotton batting, wooden rod, and wire armature mounted to a handcrafted wooden base with German glass glitter snow. Finish details include hand stitched costuming with a heavy wire hem for shaping, vintage fabric and tinsel, lambskin beard, and 120 year old cardboard used to construct the gift box. Each piece is a signed original and varies depending on materials and artistic mood. I always try to incorporate vintage and natural based supplies and avoid anything ready made creating everything from scratch in keeping with traditional arts and crafts, the end result is a unique family heirloom that looks like a cherished antique."
I made my song a coat Covered with embroideries Out of old mythologies From heel to throat; But the fools caught it, Wore it in the world's eyes As though they'd wrought it. Song, let them take it, For there's more enterprise In walking naked.
Richard Cohen is a gay-to-straight "therapist" and his book has been used in Uganda to help justify an anti-homosexual movement that culminated in a legislative effort known as the "Kill The Gays Bill."
To literally kill gay people.
Ignorant and uneducated, unfounded rhetoric having dangerous and deadly consequences? Imagine...
Oh Uganda, you're so edgy. Always coming up with new reasons to kill people. Yawn. That is just SO overdone... Don't you think? I mean, yes... There was a time when everyone who was anyone was doing it. It was totally chic and daring. I mean, like all the IN governments were doing it and revolutionaries were doing it. And yes, some governments are still doing it... and hillbillies are doing it. And druggies... And... why, even AMERICAN HEALTH CARE INSURANCE companies are getting in on the action. Just more covertly... But, anyway. What I'm trying to say is, why not try something new, huh? Like maybe you should worry about how many or your citizens have to compete for the sidewalks with openly flowing sewage on the streets. That'd be a good place to start.
AND... I bet if you appointed a gay person to that job, not only would those sidewalks and streets be gleaming, they'd be quaint and charming. Brick or cobblestone, I'm guessing... At the very least, faux. And there'd be sidewalk cafes and art galleries along those boulevards in NO TIME. See? I'm just talking about it and already they're boulevards.
AND... If they didn't do a good job, and all that cropped up were more Liquor stores and gun shops, or the persistent lingering of human SHIT, THEN you could kill 'em.
But hey, whatever. Just my big ole gay two cents. I know, I know, you want to "kill me"... oooouu...
Back to Rachel's smack-down of Dick Cohen (who secretly wants me to tickle his bum-bum and tea-bag him).
Rachel Maddow said, "I realize I was taking the risk of helping promote you and the way that you think about these things by putting you on the air, but I do think that you've actually got blood on your hands."
Later she added, "Just in case this gets heard in Uganda ... Richard Cohen is not licensed by any American or any other licensing body whatsoever."
And by the way, he's selling something... like "educational" material.
I wonder if I can arrange to have Rachel Maddow's baby? It would probably be easier the other way around, but I think we've gotten used to challenges.
"Gretchen Carlson dumbs herself down to connect with an audience who sees intellect as an elitist flaw."
There, there, sweetheart... You should be crying... I'd be crying too if I were just crowned MISS COMPLETE FUCKING JACKASS. I'm only half of one... a runner-up, if you will. But, you... YOU! You're just a disaster, Gretchen!! AND YOU'VE WON! YOU'VE WON!!
You may have seen some of these disturbing pics floating around before, but I felt a great need to post them today.
Too much news lately has been jarring my brain loose and I just feel like laughing.
So, without further adieu, I bring you these bewildering, sometimes eye-popping, sometimes just plain ole guffawing pics via our goddess correspondent in Santa Barbara, Diana. Thanks, Diana! I love them... And I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of commenting on each one.
Okay, the kid obviously is a total rock star. But, the guy in the background? Is he pulling his pants UP or DOWN? AND WHY RIGHT THERE???
This is fucked. This is a kid's toy. On the package, the kid is hugging Superman... Or Supermouth. Actually, I think he's playing with his nipples... And the package also says, "Stuff > Hug > Play". You know what? All of a sudden, I want one.
I'm not sure which is worse, Grandma holding the machine gun, Grandma POINTING the machine gun at the cameraman, Grandma's paddle of a left foot, Grandma's haircut, or the freak next to her WITH HIS SHIRT OFF and his hair in a bun... Why do hillbillies ALWAYS HAVE THEIR SHIRTS OFF??? I JUST DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND.
Okay... Yeah. I don't know. Is it that top kid with the guitar all grown up? And his Dad constantly pulling his pants up and down at family parties that made him collect all these guns? I really don't know what to say, except I am SO turned on right now.
Again... I don't know. The dandelions against the green, green grass and the cherry blossoms are lovely. Just lovely. And then, after that, nature just goes awry. Like the shirt and the peg-leg aren't bad enough ("I'm just in it for the parking"). We are left to deal with a pink plush leg warmer?? Or a pink furry Ugg boot? I'm guessing? That's all traumatic enough, but then you've got to put the horse in the ground... Thanks for the TOTAL MIND-FUCK.
"Jesus Christ... Martha Mae, look at yer display! It's too late fer ye! And don't be goin and doin this kind of sheit! Yer minds all twisty-topsy-curvy! And I don't care if yer preggers... YOU'RE FIRED!!... Now, get!... ... Hey Martha Mae, we still on fer Saturday night? Ah, good. I'll pick ya up at 7 in the parking lot of the Piggly-Wiggly. And I better be bringin one of them there condams. I don't wanna be gettin' ye preggers when ya already is."
Thank you. I know that I CAN shave the baby, I just choose not to.
"Just look at her, Randy... She's lost it. Since she got fired, it's like Martha Mae has to wash Walmart right off her body. I hate to say anything, but when she gone and done get that beer belly?"
Unfortunately, it's Saturday night at 7:10 pm in the parking lot at the Piggly-Wiggly.
Fancy. I'm wasting not another minute more and I'm cutting my boobs out of every shirt I own.
And my favorite. Because a grandma barfing does it for me EVERY TIME. (I just noticed... She has A BUCKET BETWEEN HER LEGS. I... can't... breathe...)
"WASHINGTON – The Obama administration took a major step Monday toward imposing the first federal limits on climate-changing pollution from cars, power plants and factories, declaring there was compelling scientific evidence that global warming from manmade greenhouse gases endangers Americans' health."
Which is welcome, yes. But, I'm reluctant to say it's "GREAT". After all, the year is 2009. 2009!
So, while it may be great, it's late.
Better late than never, I suppose...
Not surprisingly, the article goes on to talk about how much it's going to "cost":
"The price could be steep for both industry and consumers. The EPA finding clears the way for rules that eventually could force the sale of more fuel-efficient vehicles and require plants to install costly new equipment — at a cost of billions or even many tens of billions of dollars — or shift to other forms of energy."
And then there's THIS asshole, "It will choke off growth by adding new mandates to virtually every major construction and renovation project," declared Thomas Donohue, president of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, which in recent months has been particularly critical of the EPA's attempt to address climate change."
Business groups have strongly argued against tackling global warming through the Clean Air Act, saying it is less flexible and more costly than the cap-and-trade legislation being considered by Congress. Any regulations from the EPA are certain to spawn lawsuits and a lengthy legal fights.
"Such regulations would be intrusive, inefficient and excessively costly, chill job growth and delay business expansion," argued Jack Gerard, president of the American Petroleum Institute, which also has been critical of the climate legislation before Congress.
Of course they would, Jack Getarded. And meanwhile, you're the president of the American Petroleum Institute. I hardly think you're objective or wise.
Whether or not you believe in global warming is really beside the point. Because, you see, there's this:
What about the cost of BREATHING in THAT?
This shit just doesn't go bye-bye...
If anyone thinks that's not a problem, I'd like you to consider going to your car that's parked in your garage, roll down your windows, have a comfy seat, start the car with the garage door closed, and all the windows of the garage closed and contemplate air pollution.
Please, take notes if you wish.
I'll give you a few hours.
And if you're actually considering this, please don't. But, I do STRONGLY encourage you to stop with the lobotomies and get ready to wipe my ass, 'cause that's all you're good for.
UPDATE: I actually wasn't aware of this, so MUCH THANKS to The Herbal Biologist for bringing it to my attention!
Herbal Biologist, "re: the coke links at post's end
That's quite a spin Coke is putting on their switch to a greener coolant -- hydrofluorocarbon will no longer be available to recharge refrigeration units in the US after that date. Coke has no choice but to switch. Ah, greenwashing strikes again!"
Me, "OOoohhh... I see how it is, Coke! You SCAMMING OPPORTUNISTS! You're totally pulling a Ronnie Reagan with the Berlin Wall kind of thing. You sneaky little buggers... H.B. IS ON TO YOU!!"
And without further adieu, here is the last bish session on food for yieu and yieu and yieu. (At least until next time. And come on, I seldom cover such dark material without a little bit of fun, right? RIGHT?? OUI OR NON?? Oui... I hope.)
Growing fast food: Cattle fed on corn eventually become sick and die. Via a transcript from Fresh Air on NPR with Terry Gross
GROSS: "Let’s get back to the cow’s stomach."
Mr. POLLAN: "Yeah."
GROSS: "So the cow now is eating corn instead of eating grass. Its stomach is made for digesting grass and turning it into protein. How does the cow’s digestive system handle corn?"
Mr. POLLAN: "Well, very poorly. It’ll go kablooey if it’s not done very gradually. And I talked to people who said that most cows, most beef cattle getting a heavy diet of corn–and again, they can tolerate some of it, but when you crank it up to 70, 80, 90 percent grain, their stomachs go haywire. They suffer from a range of different phenomenon, one of which is bloat.
"You know, the rumen, this organ, is always producing copious amounts of gas, and these are expelled during rumination, you know, when the animal kind of chews its cud. It regurgitates this bolus of grass and in the process releases all this greenhouse gas, essentially methane and things because when you’re digesting grass much gas is produced. But when they’re eating corn, this layer of slime forms over the mass in the rumen, and it doesn’t allow the gas to escape. So what happens is the rumen begins to expand like a balloon until it’s pressing up against the lungs of the animal. And if nothing is done to release the pressure of that gas, the animal suffocates. It can’t breathe anymore. So what do they do? Well, if it gets to that point, they force a hose down the esophagus of the animal, and that releases the gas, and they very quickly put them back on hay for a little while.
"So that’s one of the things that can go wrong. Well, perhaps the most dramatic. But a whole other range of problems are created because the corn acidifies the rumen. The rumen has basically a neutral pH when it’s healthy and getting grass, and that’s very significant for a lot of reasons. But you feed it corn and it gets a lot more acidic. And the rumen can’t deal with acids, and what happens is the acids gradually eat away at the wall of the rumen, creating little lesions or ulcers through which bacteria can pass. And the bacteria get into the bloodstream and travel down to the liver, which collects all such impurities, and infects the liver. And that is why more than 13 percent of the animals slaughtered in this country are found to have abscessed livers that have to be thrown away and is a sign of disease.
"But this low-level sickness, acidosis or even subacute acidosis, as they call it, afflicts many, many–probably the majority–of feedlot calves, and it leaves them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases. Their immune systems are compromised. So they get this, you know, horrifying list of feedlot diseases. You know, we have these diseases of civilization, you know, heart disease and such things. Well, they have their own diseases of civilization: feedlot polio, abscessed livers, rumenitis, all these kinds of things that cows in nature simply don’t get."
GROSS: "Is this where the antibiotics come in?"
Mr. POLLAN: "Yeah. The only way you can keep a cow alive getting this much corn would be with antibiotics. And they get large quantities of antibiotics with their feed every day. They get rumensin, which is technically an ionophore. It’s a kind of antibiotic that helps with the bloat and the acidosis. And then they get tylosin, which is in the erythromycin family. And that antibiotic cuts down on the incidence of liver disease, and without that, they would all have liver disease probably.
"So, you know, when people debate antibiotics in livestock, which is a very, you know, important issue, and it’s before the Congress right now, they make this easy distinction between feeding animals antibiotics to promote growth, which is done in the chicken industry and the pig industry, and then feeding them when they’re sick, which even the public health advocates against using antibiotics in livestock say, ‘Of course it’s fine. You must treat sick animals.’ But where do you put the beef calf who is clearly getting these antibiotics to cure him? On the other hand, he wouldn’t be sick if we weren’t feeding him what we feed him? So it kind of confounds the usual distinction. If you took away these antibiotics, everything would have to change."
GROSS: "Michael Pollan’s article on the beef industry was published in Sunday’s New York Times Magazine. His book, “The Botany of Desire,” will be published in paperback next month. We’ll talk more about the beef industry in the second half of the show. I’m Terry Gross, and this is FRESH AIR."
GROSS: "Coming up, the consequences of feeding cattle antibiotics and hormones. We continue our conversation with Michael Pollan about the modern industrial steak."
(Soundbite of music)
GROSS: "This is FRESH AIR. I’m Terry Gross, back with Michael Pollan. We’re talking about how cattle are raised and fed in today’s industrialized beef industry. Michael Pollan’s article, This Steer’s Life, was the cover story of last Sunday’s New York Times Magazine. He usually writes about gardening and organic food. His book “The Botany of Desire: A Plants-Eye View of the World” will be published in paperback next month. When we left off, we were talking about why cattle are fed antibiotics along with their corn feed. Well, the corn wreaks havoc on the cow’s digestive system. The digestive problems are addressed with antibiotics.
"Now what about the effects of the antibiotics on we humans that eat the cow meat? Is there still antibiotic residue in the meat?"
Mr. POLLAN: "Yes, they have found recently that there are antibiotic residues. But the larger problem–and this is one of the key connections between their health and our health, which I believe you simply can’t separate–is that simply by putting this huge quantity of these antibiotic chemicals into the environment–you know, more than half of the antibiotics made in this country go to feed livestock–you are creating resistant bugs, resistant bacteria. This is how evolution works. If you put a poison in the environment, to a population, it will evolve to withstand that poison. And that is happening. And that can be proven. It happens downstream of feedlots in the water that’s getting away. It happens in the manure of the animals.
"In their digestive tract, right now, they are selecting for strains of bacteria that can withstand erythromycin, that can withstand penicillin, and those bacteria, having been created through this process, are now everywhere. And there is a connection between the antibiotics that steer number 534 is getting, and all his pen mates, and the fact that when my son has an ear infection, I have a hell of time finding an antibiotic now that will work. The reason that our antibiotics are failing is in part because we are squandering them on all these animals."
REALLY not so much. (BBBRRRRTTTTTTTT... There goes the waitress... WOULD SOMEBODY HELP HER PLEASE?? Thanks.)
REALLY NOT SO MUCH EITHER, DAMN IT. (I'm pretty sure he exploded two minutes after this pic was taken.)
In a time gone by, many ordered what seemed to be more civilized dishes, such as "Pheasant Under Glass", which origins are quite shaky. One report says, "Breast of pheasant is served under glass to hold in the cognac flavor that makes this dish so distinctive." While another says that it refers to not really "glass", but rather a glaze... Or rather a "glace", that is was pheasant en gelée, or covered with a savory gelatin... Who knows?
But now, I see something different in our midst,
Guinea pig under pizza.
Where, we're actually
the guinea pigs... And I'm not sure the pizza's even really pizza.
With our livestock eating all this crap, I wouldn't be surprised if our chickens,
I Can't Believe Our Cows Eat Twinkies... (Part Uno)
not this kind of Twinkie.
So, yesterday, Will and I learned that non-organic livestock in the U.S. is being fed EXPIRED JUNK FOOD. I'm talking about twinkies, cheetos, peanut butter cups, etc. It just keeps getting better... I'm just SO FUCKING DISTURBED BY THIS!! I can't believe that farmers think this is OKAY... I can't believe it.
So, when parents think that they're feeding their children chicken, pork, or beef, THOSE poor animals have been fed corn (which is NOT in their natural diet and has no nutritional value whatsoever), but also EXPIRED JUNK FOOD???
That's just not okay... THIS IS NOT OKAY!
It's like they're inadvertently poisoning the American public.
When I posted this on my facebook page, Whit Honea commented and said, "That's crazy. Twinkies don't expire."
But seriously... How is this okay??
My head's going to explode... into like... Pop Rocks or something.
Mark Bittman on what's wrong with what we eat."In this fiery and funny talk, New York Times food writer Mark Bittman weighs in on what's wrong with the way we eat now (too much meat, too few plants; too much fast food, too little home cooking), and why it's putting the entire planet at risk."
"Besides trail mix, pigs and cattle are downing cookies, licorice, cheese curls, candy bars, french fries, frosted wheat cereal and peanut-butter cups. Some farmers mix chocolate powder with cereal and feed it to baby pigs," writes Lauren Etter. "California farmers are feeding farm animals grape-skins from vineyards and lemon-pulp from citrus groves. Cattle ranchers in spud-rich Idaho are buying truckloads of uncooked french fries, Tater Tots and hash browns."
"In Pennsylvania, farmers are turning to candy bars and snack foods because of the many food manufacturers nearby. Hershey Co. sells farmers waste cocoa and the trimmings from wafers that go into its Kit Kat bars. At Nissin Foods, maker of Top Ramen and Cup Noodles, farmers drive to a Lancaster, Pa., factory and load up on scraps of the squiggly dried noodles, which pile up in bins beneath the assembly line," she continues. (source)
(Tell me it doesn't look like Tiger is getting ready to put a hole-in-one, or rather... a whole-in-one, belonging to President Obama. He's at least on the verge of totally tea-bagging the Prez. You can tell, Tiger's NOT EVEN WEARING ANY PANTS under that little apron-thing he's wearing... Okay, at the VERY least, Tiger's gonna prop his "wood" on Barack's shoulder... and like... poke him in the ear or something... or push his hat off. WATCH OUT, BARACK! WATCH OUT, MY BABY'S DADDY, FOR TIGER WOODS' WOOD! IT'S GONNA BE ON YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER ANY SECOND NOW!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PEOPLE!! IS THERE NO DECENCY LEFT?? SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!)
God HATES Corduroy And FINALLY The World Knows About It
Thanks to our brilliant on-line marketing guru, Jim Kukral, for this glowing contribution. Thanks, Jimmy K!
An angry loser (right) came to Syracuse University to make a fool of herself by spreading pathetic hatred and was treated to a happy mutant style stunt by this smiling student, named Chris Pesto (left).
"I decided that because this woman thought it was okay to make me feel uncomfortable in my home, I would retaliate and make her feel just as uncomfortable, if not more. This woman was wearing a ankle-length corduroy skirt, which, as we all know, is a fashion nono. So, in order to make her feel uncomfortable, I stood next to her and held a sign that said Corduroy skirts are a sin! I don't think I have ever drawn so much attention in my life. SO many people asked to take a picture with me, I got laughs, high fives and there were the few that even cursed off the woman standing behind me.
As I drew interest to what was going on with myself and the woman with the hateful sign, I started to draw a crowd that stood with me in support. Before I knew it I had 100+ people holding signs for gay rights asking people to honk their horns to support. I was interviewed by a news station, and more than 5 student organization papers, and the post standard of syracuse.
I never expected anybody to come stand by me and support and I appreciate it so much that everyone came! It meant so much and it proved to those ignorant people that we aren't afraid, and we will put up a fight.
I'm proud that Syracuse has such a homosexual friendly community."
So, the other night, Will had to put his i-pod on because I was screaming at someone in the Philippines.
I'm not proud of it. I really am embarrassed when I lose control and end up screaming my head off, but I did. It popped right off. I couldn't even understand myself at that point. All I could hear were high-pitched screeches, as though an owl had come careening into the Living Room. And all the dogs in the neighborhood started howling.
After I cancelled my very last credit card and hung up the phone I thought, "Wow... I just screamed at someone on the other side of the planet! Someone named 'Bob'... Technology is just bringing us closer and closer together... And even our NAMES are getting closer and closer! Soon, we'll all be one. N'est-ce pas?"
World AIDS Day is held on December 1st every year. It's an International day to raise awareness about HIV and AIDS around the World. The first World AIDS Day was celebrated on December 1st 1988.
This year’s theme for the day is “human rights and access to treatment”. The theme has been chosen to address the critical need to protect human rights and make HIV prevention, treatment, care and support accessible to all.
The theme acts as a call to countries to remove laws that discriminate against people living with HIV.
Because AIDS is a VIRUS that
attacks the body.
But prejudice, attacks
A woman stands among 5000 crosses marking World Aids Day at the Museum Square in Amsterdam December 1, 2009. As World Aids Day is marked today, globally some 33.4 million people were living with HIV and there were some 2 million AIDS-related deaths in 2008 according to UNAIDS.
Bolivia's health minister Ramiro Tapia (C) heads a march during a World AIDS Day event in the centre of La Paz, December 1, 2009.
Students watch a health worker explain the use of a condom on World AIDS Day in Lima, Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009. (BOM CHICKA WOW WOW! Sorry... bad joke, I know. BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW!! Again, I'm sorry... I just couldn't help myself. Now, I'll stop.)
Students from the American University of Beirut pose after they lit candles in the shape of the Aids awareness red ribbon, on World Aids Day in Beirut, Lebanon, Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009
The Angel of Independence Monument is lit up in red as part of an HIV/AIDS awareness campaign for World AIDS Day, in Mexico City.
Traditional Bihu dancers participate in an event to mark World AIDS Day in Gauhati, India, Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009.
Nearly 2.5 million people in India are infected with HIV, the AIDS virus, but talking about the disease and sexual health issues in general is still largely taboo.
A member of French association "AIDES" displays a red ribbon on the Republic statue at Place de la Republique in Paris.