Blog O'Gram! I HAVE A BLOG O'GRAM!! For You...
AM STILL BREATHING. STOP.
HAVE BEEN ON VERGE OF BARFING ALL OVER MYSELF AND WEEPING FOR 4 WEEKS. STOP.
HAVE BEEN ON VERGE OF BARFING ALL OVER ANYONE WITHIN 20-FOOT RADIUS AND HANGING OFF OF THEM WEEPING FOR 3 WEEKS AND SIX DAYS. STOP.
WILL AND I HAVE SOLD OUR HOME. STOP.
WE HAVE A MATTRESS LYING ON THE BEDROOM FLOOR AND ALL OF OUR SHIT HAS BEEN PACKED IN A TRUCK (OR STOLEN) BY TWO EX-CONVICTS THAT SHARE 5 TEETH BETWEEN THEM. STOP.
WE LEAVE FOR CLEVELAND, OHIO TOMORROW. STOP.
SCRATCH THAT. WE LEAVE FOR McCAIN/PALIN HEADQUARTERS IN WARREN, OHIO (MY PARENTS) TOMORROW. STOP.
WE WILL BE LIVING THERE FOR THE MONTH BEFORE THE ELECTION BEFORE WE BUY AND MOVE INTO A HOUSE IN CLEVELAND, OHIO. STOP.
I'M ACTUALLY WORKING UNTIL THE NIGHT BEFORE WE LEAVE...WHICH MEANS RIGHT NOW. STOP.
I'M EXCITED. STOP.
I'M FREAKED OUT. STOP.
I'M NAUSEATED (WHICH YOU ALREADY KNEW). STOP.
I'M SAD. STOP.
AND I'D REALLY RATHER JUST CURL UP IN A BALL AND SHIT MY PANTS AND MAYBE EVEN WET MYSELF. STOP.
OKAY, MAYBE NOT "SHIT MY PANTS". STOP.
MAYBE SHIT SOMEONE ELSE'S PANTS. STOP.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW BEING OVER. STOP.
BECAUSE THE LOAN ISN'T EVEN FUCKING FINAL YET AND OUR SHIT IS GONE AND WE HAVE NOTHING AND WE QUIT OUR JOBS AND SAID 'GOODBYE' TO PEOPLE WE LOVE AND IT WASN'T ENOUGH TIME AND I DIDN'T GET TO SAY 'GOODBYE' TO ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THERE'S A POSSIBILITY THAT JOHN McPAIN AND SARAH FLAILIN' MIGHT WIN AND MY PARENTS HAVE A SIGN IN THEIR FRONT YARD FOR THOSE ASSHOLES AND WE HAVE TO LIVE THERE AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT I JUST DID INDEED BARF ALL OVER MYSELF AND I'M THINKING OF RIPPING ALL MY HAIR OUT, STARTING WITH MY PUBES AND WEEPING IS STILL A VIABLE OPTION AND.
I WISH I COULD. STOP.
Stumble It!
posted by Kevin Charnas | 10:12 PM
46 Comments:
um, are you pregnant?
Are you coming my way? You can totally stay at our house if you promise to redecorate it while you're here. And we can go take baseball bats to the McCain signs in my neighborhood for fun.
Oh you poor thing! I'll run over a McPalin sign in the neighborhood here in Lincoln, NE and think of you.
And if you are pregnant...well....that'll be karma for those signs in your parents' front yard.
The bad news is that California (me especially will miss you.) And what - does this mean no Halloween party? Well!
The good news is that you are now a swing state voter. Do you still have time to register? Oh, please!
I think with all that going on I'd probably throw up too.
Between the puking and the crying and sadness, may this move be a good one for you both.
Take care.
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Well, the good news is we aren't ALL a bunch of redneck McCain ass-kissers in Ohio. But you know that.
I'm sorry this is so hard on you! But I have to say Bill and I are GLAD you're coming, and we can't wait to see you! And I hope you have a good move. As good as it CAN be. Smooches! XOXO
Miss you already. Stop.
Don't shit in my pants. Stop. No, really. Stop!
Oh, babe.
Well, you know I'm sad that you won't be in my neck of the woods anymore, but I hope that your move will turn out to be the best decision you ever made. I hope that everything stops stressing you out.
I heart you.
(((You)))
Want me to come to Ohio and take that sign away for you? We don't have to tell your parents.
Good luck to you with the move and EVERYTHING! Thanks for letting us know!
That's a whole lot of shit going on. No wonder you're a mess.
A serious question - will this do anything to the legal status of your marriage?
Kevin - I'm going to miss the fact that I miss you and we live very near each other now (maybe not now b/c you are gone). Now I'm going to miss you and you are far away. It makes me feel bad that we all didn't try harder.
But, alas. You two are going to set Ohio on it's ear (bitches). I have clients in Ohio, so maybe it will take you moving across the US for us to actually hook up.
GOOD LUCK and HAPPY FOR YOU!
WHAT?!?!! you're moving?!?! to ohio??? for reals?!?!?!
I can get you an Obama sign if you like... we do have them here in the midwest... that McCain guy may even pull out of your new state... it could happen.... Do not be afraid.... the midwest has good points too! We welcome you with open arms... it will be okay... really... we are here for you.... here here.. take this kleenex..... let us go drink some nice wine..... it will be okay....
OMG!!! I can't believe you are moving!!!
To SNOW!!!!
LOL
Good luck with everything...if you go through Phoenix, look me up so we can take you out to drinks!!!
Reform the masses, Kevin! If anyone can do it, it's YOU! Sip a little gingerale and have a cracker for the tum tum...hope all goes well.
My parents love Palin. Ugh.
Have you seen the "Hey There, Sarah Palin" video on youtube? To the tune of "Hey There, Delilah". Funny stuff.
Missing you tons and tons already! Please post a quick update when you stop ralphing all over yourself... I want to know you guys made it safe and sound.
Love you!
Well, this is quite an introduction.
I found you through your picture on Bossy's reader collage.
Hopefully things have settled down some, and McSame/Failin's dropping poll numbers have eased your mind.
Besides, you're too cute to barf. (Yes, I'm sure your boyfriend is cute, too. Yada yada.)
You are moving from California to Cleveland?
Wishing you glorious happiness, an easy move and please piss on the sign after your parents have gone to bed. Don't STOP.
Step over to the dark side, my son. We welcome you in McLame country. Bring us your vote so that we may deliver the chosen one. Amen.
KEV, WHERE ARE U??????????????????? WE MISS U!!!!!!!!! It's gonna say anonymous....but it's Jade!!!
Darlin! WTF???? Cleveland? CLEVELAND? Ummmm...I am speechless. Are you alive? Did you make it there? Because I hear if you can make it there you can make it anywhere. And yes...I mean SEX! ;) I think I felt your vibe leave the West Coast...
Now I feel sick.
nominated you for an award...
PS voting no on prop8 because I love you and your hubby so much!
Oh yes, the snow! You gave up California beaches and sunshine for Snow and McCain signs? Oh, so sorry.
Well..
I don't really care for McCain either ...
but I can hardly bear the thought of Obama being President..
he will tax the schwitt out of us all.. and we will become a Socialist society....
I ran over to the Republican Headquarters here in LV and put up a yard sign in my front yard...
and I love Sarah Palin...
I wish SHE were running instead of McCain...
I hope you still love me..
Bossy sends her love... hold tight, friend!
The shit we put ourselves through to be close to family!
Hang in there ... there is life after California, I promise !!!
Are you settled yet? No Internet out there in Ohio? We told you not to leave CA!!!
COME BACK!! Or, at the very least, post.
I miss you. Just know that. Come help us move now that you are an expert, OK?
~ML
How can I have a Halloween without you????
Hope all is well in Ohio.
...do they not have internet where you are? Send up flares, or just wear your 40 pieces of flair... we'll come save you.
KEVIN!!! WILLL!!! WTF???!!!
You are GONE? Seriously? Are you coming back now that Obama won?
Well, I am going to email you now, and I expect some ANSWERS. Especially since I had promised Kira and Kiyomi we'd visit you soon because Kiyomi can't stop thinking about the one-eyed horse.
Seriously, you're gone? I'm going to cry.
Srsly? WTH are you? Are you coming back!? Are you stuck in your parents basement? WHERE ARE YOU!?
So...
Are you coming to see me????
or am I going to see you....
You are in my time zone...
and in my climate zone as well....
Oooooohhh...
So happy!!!!
::: : :::
Note the smoke signals I have sent you... Just checking in.... hope all is well!
Wanted to say hi. "Hi!" Hope you and Will are doing well. Sending love your way. ((hugs))
Thinking of you, Kevin Charnas...... love, Bossy.
I miss you.
Where the heck have you gone???
Oh Kevin...
Where are you?
Hope you have a Rockin' New Year there in OHIO. Which must be so much fun, hence - the lack of Kevin in the blogosphere. :(
Where you at? Hope everything is going ok!
Where are you, Sweetie? Did the Big Bad Republicans in Warren, Ohio lock you in the basement? Did Joe the Plumber have you whacked?
Come on back!
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