Phelps Phan And Chipped Chopped Ham
Okay, so I'm back. And much to your dismay, YOU GUYS ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!! Because I have a lot to catch up on and you're just in trouble, that's all. That's all there is to it.
So, I have ranting and raving to do. And important posts about ping pong balls and off-shore drilling and pee-pee on our couch and John McCain's disgusting thatch of ancient pubic hair.
And I PROMISE that I'll be posting pics of our wedding. So, some of you can quit with the death threats in the emails, okay? Mom...
The truth is, I actually just started looking at the pics the other day. And call me silly and vain, but I'm just not that excited to post pics of myself when my coloring looks like stale lunch meat.
My gray pin-stripped suit with striking blue shirt and tie and black wing-tips? Stunning. Without my face present, you would've been blinded by my beauty.
However, the hue emanating from my tear-streaked face? 15 day old chipped chopped ham. And you're going to wish that you were blinded.
So, while I'm trying to get my shizz together and get over myself, let us bask in the glow of

Michael Phelps, one of my next husbands.
And I'm not sure if I can adequately express to you HOW MUCH I love this commercial.






8 Comments:
welcome back brother. oh and btw, i hear John McCain has dyed his patch of pubes into a rainbow afro to connect with the younger vote.
rainbow afro pubes. sounds like he's reaching out to the young black gay vote. good luck with that.
glad to see you back, looking forward to chopped ham.
Good thing I have AT&T....wishing to see pictures soon.
BTW, any pubes are pukey to me.
oh, yay! you know...i can't imagine not loving you in your suit or out of it---never mind the coloring. i kin maybe git you in fer a spray tan...
love you, miss you--
your GA wife.
You're back, yea! Can't wait to see some pictures from the big day.
I agree with The Laundress.
Pubes = Icky
I am sure your tear streaked face is beautiful.
I love the end of that commercial ' YOU BIG DUMMY!!!"
Love the commercial too. Still waiting for pics (not so patiently). I bet your tear streaked face looks beautiful!
A married person. We aren't going to start having posts about what all the kids are doing, now, are we? (somehow I doubt that)
Congrats again.
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