Step-Ball-Step
So, last night I dreamt that some blind woman kept stepping on my balls.
1. I have no idea why I was lying on the floor, clothed, but with my legs spread apart. (Besides being a hussy, I have no other reason to have been doing that. I know, I know, being a hussy should be reason enough.)
2. Nor do I have any idea as to why this blind woman didn't REALIZE that she was at least stepping on SOMETHING...My balls aren't THAT small. The Bish. Maybe she thought they were cantaloupes. Or maybe she couldn't feel her extremities. I think it's more probable that she thought they were cantaloupes.
3. AND I have no idea why I didn't just tell her, "HEY, LADY!! YOU'RE STEPPIN' ON MY F-ING BALLS!! YOU AND YOUR GOD DAMN CANE SHOULD GO TRAMPLE SOMETHING ELSE!!"
And before one of you say that I liked it, and THAT'S why I didn't say anything, I didn't. Okay?
Not even a little.
Okay, maybe a little.
posted by Kevin Charnas | 7:02 PM
7 Comments:
Dude?
baby? go to pier 4. there's a crate full of xanax and muscle relaxers waiting for you wrapped up in a case of 1954 Dom Perignon.
who loves you?
Flutter - EXACTLY.
Liv - HA! I'm on my way. Thank you.
And just for the record, I don't know what it feels like for anyone to step on my balls. And I don't wish to find out.
Now twirling them all over the place and playing dodge-ball with them? That might peak my interest.
i'm going to pee on the blind guy at work's sight dog at the urinal in your honor today
Furious - I hope that the dude doesn't scold the dog, thinking...you know, that he took a whiz. Or is it a "she". Do they let female sight-dogs in the Men's Restroom?
And here I was thinking this post had something to do with dancing..
Silly me.
What's scary is that some people pay money for that.
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