It doesn't matter who they think you are. It matters who you think you are.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Running To Save

Perfect Post Award 03.08

I haven't mentioned anything about the killing of 15 year old Lawrence King that happened in February, 30 minutes from here down in Oxnard, California. He identified himself as gay and paid the ultimate price.

And I haven't mentioned anything about the killings at Northern Illinois University back in February.

And I haven't mentioned anything about the gay Iranian student who was deported from the United Kingdom to Holland, where he's awaiting asylum. If he is returned to Iran, he'll be hung like his former lover...for being gay.



The year is 2008.

I'm pondering those numbers...truly pondering them.

2008

Isn't it kind of wild? 2008. That's just fricking amazing to me.

The year speaks of the future, but the rest of us seem left behind.

I don't want to get used to the killing. That's why I'm mentioning these atrocities now. It's been simmering on a back-burner in my mind for the last few weeks. And I've been waiting to hopefully express something other than outrage.

I'm still outraged.

But, my anger hasn't consumed me, nor will I allow it to.

A couple of weeks ago, it was a Saturday morning and I was walking the dogs down at the beach. I was thinking of the recent tragedies in Illinois and here...and everywhere for that matter.

As I walked, I wondered if for the 14 year old who murdered Lawrence King, his parents or guardians should be held responsible...that would put the parents certainly on notice. And maybe more parents would be more active in their children's lives, instead of sitting them in front of a television screen or a computer monitor...or whatever else it is that they let them do so that they don't have to be present.

And as I walked, I wondered why society doesn't seem more outraged over the killing of ANYTHING. The taking of life...it's a desecration to what created it in the first place.

And then I thought of how so many Americans rather be distracted and numb, rather than sincerely feel or better yet, DO anything about our world's injustices.

And as I walked, my heart grew heavier still with the weight of all this contemplation. And I found myself staring out at the ocean and apologizing to whatever is "out there"...


Apologizing for humanity's barbarism. Although, I have a feeling it isn't surprised.

Just then, as I turned to continue walking down the beach, a man was walking towards me. I leashed the dogs and pulled them closer to me so that they didn't try dismembering him. He walked up to me and informed me of a baby seal that was abandoned about 50 yards ahead in the rocks that were up on the beach.


He was asking me to be cautious in regards to the dogs frightening the baby seal.

His girlfriend was waiting farther down to warn people as well. He told me how they had called the marine animal rescue center the night before to tell them of the baby seal that was still alive. And this morning, they wanted to check to see if anyone had come to rescue it.

They hadn't.

So, the couple called again. And they waited and stood guard.

After he told me, I told him that I'd call as well. And that I would be cautious with the dogs.

I continued to walk and held the dogs close until we passed. I called and left another message for the rescue center. I was pissed that they hadn't done anything in well over 12 hours.

The dogs and I walked our usual length of the beach and then turned around to head back. I still felt weighted down and now even more so with the abandoned baby seal marooned up on the rocks. I walked on and felt more numb with emotional pain with every step I took.

I didn't want to cry. I just wanted to curl up.

I leashed the dogs again and passed the lonely seal that was clinging to more than the rocks...

And I encountered the couple again and told them that I was going to call the rescue center AGAIN and SCREAM MY HEAD OFF...which I did.

I started walking down the beach in the other direction. And as I walked I thought what a bunch of LIAR-FACES those rescue assholes were...And I thought about how people just don't fucking care anymore...they're just out for themselves. And I thought about how I wanted to find a place away from society, a farm that Will and I could ensconce ourselves in away from the degradation of human society.

And as I was bitching up a storm in my head, I looked up and saw a guy running in a white shirt and white shorts. He was running towards me.

As he drew near, when he was in ear shot, I yelled; "ARE YOU WITH THE MARINE ANIMAL RESCUE CENTER??"

And he said he was.

I felt a fluttering in my chest and I pointed him down toward the couple that were standing guard over the baby seal. I told him that he'd find the little fellow down there.

He thanked me and continued to run.

He ran down there to get that baby seal.

And as the dogs and I hiked up the steep bluffs, ascending above the beach, I saw him running back down the beach with that baby seal in his arms. It was barking and carrying on, which meant that it was VIBRANT WITH LIFE.

He looked up at me and through my dampened eyes I gave him the thumbs-up. And with his arms full, he nodded and smiled.

And he continued to run. TO RUN!! HE WAS RUNNING TO SAVE THAT LIFE.

And then I looked out at that ocean again, and this time instead of apologizing, I expressed deep gratitude and pride. Because I KNOW that we're not all bad. Because I know that I'm not alone. In my sight there was that couple, the rescue worker and myself; that made four of us, just in my line of sight, that cared about life. That cared about our schedules less than that life.

And I KNOW that there's countless more of you out there. And that restores my hope and my faith. And to know of the immense love that can burst from the human spirit is humbling to me. And it gives me GREAT PRIDE in what beauty we're capable of.

And then I thought with even more gratitude, those three down there on that beach...Well, they rescued more than that baby seal that morning.

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28 Comments:

Blogger marymurtz said...

I'm sitting in my office, bawling. This is one of the most powerful things I have read in a very long time. Thank you for posting it.

1:46 PM  
Blogger flutter said...

There is not one piece of this that didn't touch me, Kevin.

You are a total blessing

1:56 PM  
Blogger furiousBall said...

wow, dis was strong like bull

wow.

seriously about the wow.

2:18 PM  
Anonymous ~JJ! said...

Oh Kev, your heart is so huge.

It makes me want to hug you. Hard.

I wish everyone could read this and learn from your heart.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Lisa Milton said...

I just finished reading all the links - heartbreaking.

This was such a powerful post. Thank you.

2:56 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

You're good at this whole "Make me cry in sorrow, then make me cry in awe" thing, Kevin.
Wonderful post.

3:12 PM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I just love that you are on Team Good Guy with me.

xo,
OTJ

3:17 PM  
Blogger jennster said...

i love you.
but the first part of this post reminded me of a terrible nightmare i had last night. terrible i tell you. it was about the shooting of 2 gay men by their crazy neighbor. you odn't have any crazy gun weilding, potential murdering neighbors do you? and while my dream was deeply saddening, once the crime was commited, the dream focused on 1 of the guy's mothers... and how she wandered through the house picking up the pieces. and itw as just... i don't know and why am i telling you this when you just wrote about a damn baby seal that is goign to be OK. WHY?!?!

i'll shut up.

but i heart you. and your baby seal stories. and the guy running that what if your wave would have made him fall and trip and drop the seal? omg, i must leave work. now. my head is going crazy.

6:47 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Wonderful post, Kevin.

I received an email from a particularly right-winged friend of mine. Though we have terribly different political, social, and religious views I love her to pieces and usually opt to live and let live. But the email she sent was opposing the Day of Silence and asking everyone to complain to participating schools and keep your children out of school on that day. I deleted it and was just going to let sleeping dogs lie. But I couldn't. I called and spoke to her about it. I told her that, while she's entitled to her views, basically her email was spreading hate.

I know I didn't change her mind. I know I really didn't change a thing. But it felt good to just say it, you know?

7:58 PM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

Lovely.

Yes, it is easy to get discouraged. But sometimes I go where people are happy and in groups - a park, the fair, the beach - and I look around and remind myself that this is what most of life is. Kindness, caring, trying to do well. The crap stands out because it is the exception, not the rule.

My little prayer upon awakening (after "Oh Jesus God can I sleep another 10 minutes") is "Help me to be a little less selfish today." Just a little, every day. It is like a game to me - find places I can be helpful and do it. It brings me such joy. I know you are on that team, too, and I am glad to be there with you.

9:06 PM  
Blogger liv said...

This was really beautiful. Sometimes I think a great deal of the world's problems come from so many of us not being awake--not really seeing or digesting what is wrong. I never want to be one of those people, and it makes me feel so nice, even through these tears, to know that you on the left coast are my friend in loving life--and despairing when it is wasted.

9:12 PM  
Blogger Sugarplum's Mom said...

What a heart breaking and beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.

9:16 PM  
Blogger Major Bedhead said...

I don't even know what to say, except for thank you for such beautiful words.

9:25 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

THANK GOD that had a happy ending. If I'd cried any harder, I'd have to leave work. THANK YOU, Kev. I concur what everyone else has commented... this touched me deeply. You are a doll. *MWAH!* XOXO

6:27 AM  
Anonymous JoeInVegas said...

Thanks Kevin, very nicely done.

7:11 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I haven't commented in awhile, but wow. What a wonderful, moving post. Thank you.
I wish I knew you in real life.

7:40 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Somedays I think gee that Kevin is one crazy ass...other days I think eww gross Kevin...Today I am bawling at my desk, this is beautifully written and really makes you think.

I needed a good cry and a slap between my eyes to wake up, Thanks!

10:07 AM  
Blogger BOSSY said...

Phew. That was the scariest Roller Coaster Bossy's ever been on.

12:51 PM  
Blogger Charlie said...

Thanks, Kevin.

2:11 PM  
Blogger Open Grove Claudia said...

You know.... I think that we each have all of that inside us. The desire to kill, the desire to love, the desire to connect.... All we can do is make damn sure we are the very best people we can be. And that's enough.

My new favorite quote is this:

"The very best thing you can do for the whole world is make the most of yourself."

Don't let the bastards grind you down. They are the few.

5:28 PM  
Anonymous slackermommy said...

What a powerful post. It deserves to be shouted from the rooftops.

Last weekend I watched Brokeback Mountain for the first time. What saddened me about the flick on top of the fact that it is such a tragic love story is that the movie took place 40+ years ago and 40+ years later there is still such a lack of tolerance for the gay community and people are still being murdered because of their sexual orientation. How very sad. Fortunately the good in people still out weighs the bad and you summed it up perfectly that we are capable of great beauty. That's what gives me hope too.

8:13 PM  
Blogger Mamma said...

You already know this, but I love you and your big humongous heart.

I wish we lived closer so my boys could grow up knowing you and learning how to love the world like you.

8:44 PM  
Blogger daysgoby said...

Thank you.

Because this morning I really needed that.

4:21 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Beautiful, sad, inspiring.

5:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THANK YOU KEVIN. I needed this right about now. I have a lump in my throat.

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Andrea said...

Here from Major Bedhead. I had to say (through my tears) that I am immensely touched by this post.

For every person capable of atrocities, there are multitudes capable of the exact opposite, but it's easy to forget that.

Thanks for the reminder. I care, too.

2:11 PM  
Blogger MissAllycat said...

That was Beautiful. Absolutely Beautiful.

6:42 PM  
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6:57 AM  

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