Introducing Special KGB Agent: Kevladmir Charnaslovsky
***Please read below text with a Russian accent. Or please try.***
Dis one nice. Kevladmir looks like nice man. He does not mind Capitalist pigs. Dis is before he met Tatiana.
Dis one, Kevladmir remembers vveery, vverry, cold Vinter in Vladivostok. Does not vant to go back. And he just saw Tatiana for first time. He velt great stirring in pants.
Dis one, Kevladmir is veeling debonair. Maybe he secret KGB agent, but not tell you. He have to kill you. He vants to know Tatiana better. She is so lovely. Her hair is the color of the setting sun. And her skin is the color of lunch meat.
Dis one, Kevladmir is veeling stoned. Maybe Tatiana slipped him roofie and plans to make love to this Russian spy. Between you, me and voodvork, he not mind. He loves Tatiana and her crimson lips.
Kevladmir veels vverry, vverry, cold wind blow on him. He vants Tatiana to varm him up. But, vhere is she? Vhere has Tatiana gone? Bye-Bye?
Kevladmir is angry that sexy Tatiana slipped him roofie and left without hot hanky-panky. He vants to call Kremlin, but is veeling disoriented. He thinks that Tatiana might be sexy special CIA agent.
Kevladmir is veeling psycho now. The roofie is messing vith the Rusky.
"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! NOW I MIND CAPITALIST PIGS! NOW I VANT CAPITALIST PIGS TO TURN INTO CAPITALIST BACON AND CAPITALIST SAUSAGE!! VHERE IS DAT SEXY CIA AGENT FOR HOT HANKY PANKY?? I VANT TO SPANK HER BOTTOM AND FEED HER ICE CUBES!! GIVE ME TATIANA!! I MISS HER SOFT SUN-KISSED HAIR THAT SMELLS OF SMOKE AND VODKA! I MISS HER SUPPLE SKIN THAT RADIATES ALL HUES OF BOLOGNA!! I MISS HER SWEET SCENT, HER HAIRY ARMPITS THAT SMELL OF...THAT SMELL OF...CABBAGE!!!"
***Stay tuned.***
Stumble It!
posted by Kevin Charnas | 6:21 AM
18 Comments:
wait a second... weren't you in Moscow on the Hudson? what was it like banging Maria Conchita-Alonzo?
I've been up with a puking girl since 4 am. Fun times.
Thank you, Kevladmir, for turning my eyes East. To vodka.
(Great post.)
And just what does Will have to say about Tatiana? (or is that his code name?)
Vell, you got da 'at, yu've gat da' zlook, yu reeeedy to mooove back up north where dere is wintrrs?
do yu tink yu maybe strong enough vit de hat and de rruuuusky looks?
if all else fails yu 'ave de vudka, no?
but vat about your keilbassa?
Snort. Kevladmir is hot.
You and my husband man...I've never met two people who can crack themselves right the hell up so thoroughly.
YA, I think I've pissed myself.
At least your head will keep warm under that thing!
Those last two pics scared me a little..
Face velcro. I like it.
ohmygawd. I cannot stop da laugh-eeng. Ees very good, Agent Scritchy Face.
your hat needs a bikini wax....
Svetlana, hide zee cheeldren!
Cabbage?
It is very cold here and I find myself suffering hat envy. I needs to get me one of those! Hot!
My dad calls people who wear those hats: "A schmuck with ear flaps"...
But that's not what I thought of you at all...
My husband has the same hat...I gotta getta picture of that.
Kevladmir - Ve are coming up your way. Vill bring wodka and potatoes.
Vee have vays of making you talk.
Get your sexy ass over to Wales with that beard. grrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooowwwwlllll
Erm... what exactly are the Russians spying on???
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