Cat Scratch Fever

This is how Will and I spent most of our weekend:


Yeah...it's been fun.

Our egos had a little bit of a


fender bender last week, which really hadn't been resolved. So, by the time Friday night rolled around, the mood was ripe for something devastating.

We fought.

Hard.

When I usually try to look at my mouth as a tube of toothpaste (Have you ever tried to put toothpaste back in the tube after you've squeezed it out??), and that I won't be able to take back my words. Well...that went right down the shitter.

And when I try to follow my parents example of not name-calling...Well...that went down the shitter as well.

We had actually had a nice evening before Armageddon. We went for sushi, drank some sake, flirted with the sushi chef, made out with the terribly sweet Japanese waitress, walked the dogs, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Then, bedtime.

Bedtime for psychos.

Will noticed that one of the dogs chewed the corner of an expensive pillow. He was angry and expressed it so. Wednesday, our little girl, was scared. She knew that he was pissed.

Well, we really weren't certain which dog did the chewing. As far as I'm concerned, you've got to catch them in the act. So, I tried to acknowledge his frustration, but also tried to put it in perspective for him. I tried to tell him that most of the world would LOVE to have a "chewed pillow" as their problem.

He didn't like this.

I just thought that he was getting a little carried away about a fucking pillow. Gay headquarters would've been proud of him.

I realize that he tries to make our home nice. Maybe I don't express my appreciation of it enough? I dunno. I even tried tea-bagging him in the hopes of making him laugh and diffusing the situation, but it didn't help.

I know, I was surprised too! I mean, who DOESN'T tea-bag to end an argument???

That was another one of my parents' helpful hints...that didn't work. Thanks A LOT, Mom and Dad...

Oh well...I won't give up on it. Maybe next time, I'll keep my underwear on.

So, one thing led to another, and in my attempts to remind him to "not sweat the small stuff" (the "small stuff" having NO RELATION WHAT-SO-EVER to the tea-bagging incident), we were in a full fledged battle.

We were screaming at one another. And it was ugly, but severely intellectual with things being screamed like;

"NO SIR!!!"

"NAA-UUHH!!!"

And, "NO! YOU!!!"

At one point he screamed; "WHY DON'T YOU GO ASK YOUR BLOGGER FRIENDS!?!?"

If there's no influence like an example, then I fully was influencing him to not only sweat the small stuff, but to FREAK OUT ABOUT IT.

I slept in the guest room for the next two nights and felt void of life for most of the weekend. I pretty much laid around sulking in the corners not talking to him,


but glaring while he began remodeling our master bathroom. (Which by the way, PISSED ME OFF EVEN MORE!!! There I was; devastated, wondering where I was going to move to and what clothes were mine. And he was remodeling the bathroom...which incidentally, is looking quite promising.)

I'm sure that I don't have to tell you that the fight really wasn't about the pillow. It was much bigger...but it still wasn't worth a heated argument.

We're fine now. We certainly have our issues to work through, like any relationship that is worth working on...that IS worth fighting for.

We're just going to try and do it a little nicer, a little kinder next time.

Study ties marital strife, heart disease.

How to Argue...and Actually Improve Your Health.

****CLAIMER****
I DID actually try tea-bagging him in the midst of the argument, if you're wondering. And as you read, it didn't go so well. So, I would advise against attempting the maneuver during those times.