Saturday Night Fever

You've probably seen this picture of me. This could've easily been on a Saturday in Port Au Prince, Haiti.


I'm not the one in the middle, or on the left. I'm the one on the right.


And you may have seen this picture of me as well. This could've easily been on a Saturday.


Quite serene by the cascading waterfall, no? Will took this at Big Sur. With all of that rushing water, no one even noticed I pissed my pants.


And you may have seen this picture of me at some point. This was probably on a Saturday too. Will took this at the Mandalay Bay in Vegas.


I wasn't wearing any pants. But, no one noticed. They were all staring at my tongue.


Well, as of last Saturday night, while we were down visiting Jen in Long Beach (yes, that Jen - with the vibrator in her glove compartment for when she's in traffic. And yes, that Jen - who is dating the guy with the matching butthole), the below photo was taken of me and I have one question to ask;


How HHAAWWWTTT am I? Have you ever seen a hotter elf? (Okay, two questions.) I didn't think so. Dead sexy, I tell you.