Spin The Blogger

So, Saturday night Will and I were invited down to the Hollywood Hills for this:



Thrown by LA Daddy (and he has pictures to prove it...unfortunately) and LA Mommy. They said that "clothes were optional" and even though some were removed near the end of the evening to embark on a trip into the hot tub, most of us kept ours on. We were just trying to get to know one another and I didn't want to distract anybody, or trip anyone. You know how I hate tripping people with my penis. I just always feel so badly about it, like I did it on purpose or something.

Anyway, the party was at this great place up on Mulholland Drive.

Meeting Tim (LA Daddy) and Karen (LA Mommy) was great. They are originally from Ohio so we had something in common right off the bat. We truly enjoyed meeting them and I'm hoping that we can get together before their second baby is born. Karen is due to pop this little angel out in October...or November...or...sometime around then.

I was hoping that Marsha from Sweatpants Mom was going to be there. And she was, with her hysterical husband Rigel. No, I mean it, he was hysterical. He kept just periodically screaming for no reason. And every once in a while he'd run around the party swatting people on their heads yelling, "AREN'T YOU LUCKY!!!"

I know, strange. Huh? Marsha acted like it was no big deal. She'd just kind of smile and toss back another margarita.

After the four of us french kissed for a while to break the ice, we realized how Marsha and Rigel were extremely funny and charming and now we're going to stalk them.

And we met Debra from Write Write Baby, her husband Kip and their adorable toddler. Debra had us in stitches talking about some wrestling show they went to. When she mentioned the part where the midgets came in, riding up to the ring in a tiny limo, that was it. I was doubled over in extreme fits of inappropriate laughter. I now want to go to witness the audience as much as to watch the events. But, I want to go with them.

We talked about how Kip grew up in North Dakota and his family would make him go out and shovel the driveway in 100+ below (with wind chill), while they stayed snuggled inside. I think that if I were him, I would've been arranging burial plots for all of them come Springtime.

Then, Suebob came blasting up out of nowhere and kept trying to thrust a red stapler down my pants and take pictures. I was like, "LOOK, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND IF YOU'RE TRYING TO STUFF THAT THING DOWN MY TROUSERS, THERE'S NO ROOM DOWN THERE. MY SHORTS ARE ALL FILLED UP!" (Did I mention that I shit my pants sometime during the party? No? Well, no one seemed to notice. I planned on blaming Debra and Kip's toddler if anyone said anything.)

Suebob was so sweet and engaging. I was so dense, that once she explained to me that the red stapler had to do with that fantastic guy in Office Space, I loved her immediately. She's 20 minutes to the south of us in Ventura, so we're planning on stalking her as well.

Then, there was darling Leahpeah. She was adorable and I wanted to hug her 5 minutes after meeting her and her extremely nice husband Joe. Marsha wouldn't let me hug her and just insisted that we keep kissing. And I was like, "But Marsha, there's enough of this bad boy to go around..."

And she was all, "NO!!"

Sorry, Leah. I would've hugged you a lot sooner. Marsha can get kind of territorial.

Leah, Marsha, Will and myself had an extremely stimulating, engaging conversation about religion and spirituality and how to raise children that are conscious of both, but also letting them arrive at a place on their own. And the only thing I regret is that we didn't have more time. So, I'll have to look forward to the next occasion.

And we met Jane. Jane is a sweetie-pie and was sporting a rather sassy apron that we were informed can double as a bonnet. Seeing how the apron was the only thing she was wearing, she wasn't going to be so quick to demonstrate the transition to bonnet. After some shots of Jagermeister and some more coaxing, she did. And then Rigel came running over and smacked her on the head and yelled (you guessed it), "AREN'T YOU LUCKY!!"

We all kind of laughed nervously, while Marsha tossed back another margarita. Then Jane was a little pissed and left the party. (Nice job, Rigel.) She didn't get very far though. We saw her passed out in a ditch at the bottom of the fierce driveway. We covered her up with some leaves to keep her warm and placed a dead raccoon under her head as a pillow and went on our way. I have a feeling that she's used to it.

Then, Whit and his beautiful wife, Trish. I wish that we would've met them sooner as well. We headed up an extremely steep ladder into an AWESOME tree house that was truly magical. In fact, I think it was bigger than my last apartment. Whit wanted us all to climb up first so he could peer up our skirts (because after Karen left, Tim insisted that we all put on some skimpy little numbers), so we were more than happy to oblige, the sluts that we are.

Will and I were embarrassingly enough, the last to leave the party. (Sorry, Tim.) And the only regret I have is that we didn't have more time with these fine people. And that I only got to meet a fraction of them.

For instance, I didn't get to meet Stefanie from Baby on Bored. She said that she was standing right next to me, but that she was more intrigued by the spread of food than meeting dumb ol' me and honestly, I can't blame her. I'd pick lasagna, strawberries and chocolate over me anyday. Had she said something, I would've been more than happy to arrange the situation so that we could've talked WHILE she picked lasagna, strawberries and chocolate off of me. But, nnnooooooo.

So, as the evening ended and Will and I were driving home. I felt happy and energized. A weird feeling of contentment welled up in me and I realized without Rigel having to smack me on the head and yell, "AREN'T YOU LUCKY!!!", that yes, indeed, I felt lucky.