It doesn't matter who they think you are. It matters who you think you are.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Analzon

Does anyone know what my website was just advertising from Amazon?

Would it be the new Lenox Porcelain Dinner plate blah blah?

Yes.

Would it be the "Songs in A Minor" Cd, by Alicia Keys?

Yes.

But, what else is it that they could be advertising?

Well, that would be this,



it's the Aneros Helix, of course, you silly goose.

And speaking of getting, "goosed",

Headquarters spoke NOTHING of this.

And WHO designed this anyway? And if you DID design it, do you tell your parents of your profession? What do you say at dinner parties? "Hi, my name is Bob. I design ANAL STIMULATORS."

And the commercials for it? "Is your prostate bored? Is it tired of the same old shit? Well, don't let your prostate waste another minute farting around. The new Aneros PROGASM is here!!"

I'm not shocked that it's "out there"...or in there.

And I'm not shocked that material sensitive ads such as this "pop up" onto my blog, considering what my typical subject matter consists of.

I guess that I'm just a little surprised (and grossed out) that you can purchase the Aneros massager prostate perineum STIMULATOR on Amazon.

"The Aneros is a hands-free, PATENTED, anal sphincter assisted prostate stimulator that allows a man to achieve electrifying, often unsurpassed orgasms (also known as "Super-Os")."

And it's "hands free" for your convenience! So, I guess that you can wash dishes, or check your email while you...you know...do yourself a favor. There are testimonials and everything.

And it's "PATENTED", so don't you guys go getting any bright ideas.


"O! OOH!! OOOHH!!!"

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16 Comments:

Blogger Whit said...

Cool! What price do the used ones start at?

12:29 AM  
Blogger karrie said...

Whit beat me to it.

How bizarre. Does it qualify for Prime?

3:50 AM  
Blogger Nancy said...

There's your calling Kevin!

Writing commercials.

I am sure there is a "jingle" to go along with this somewhere in your head.

Funny post!

4:18 AM  
Blogger mommiebear2 said...

That is scary yet almost interesting. :)

5:27 AM  
Blogger Hol&J said...

Wow. I guess I haven't explored the full extent of Amazon yet.

I wonder what the reviews would be.

5 stars. Classy, Creative, Contemporary, February 16, 2005 - You'll never need to use another product again.

7:47 AM  
Blogger reevesfarm said...

Oh holy shit...Bhwaaa haaa haaa

Now that "Chrisy Behind" song is playing through my head...

11:32 AM  
Blogger flutter said...

Um, like ok....why does that look like an inverted uterus/fallopian tube combo?

1:03 PM  
Blogger Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I'm so in love with that item...Maybe it's the way you describe it...You naughty man.

Interesting.

1:32 PM  
Blogger EmmaK said...

Wow! And hands free too! I've just got to get one. I can then drive my car, get anally rammed, talk on my cell and eat a donut at the same time. Heaven !! ;)

3:23 PM  
Blogger Slackermommy said...

I'm still trying to figure out exactly how it works. What are the extra doohickies for?

4:05 PM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Dear Mr. Charnas,
Pleased you to send me one right now.
Thanking you muchly,
The Joys

6:35 PM  
Blogger Open Grove Claudia said...

Ok that's hilarious. Thanks for the outrageous laugh.

Having to know, I went to the site to read the reviews. Now I know what people do with their free time.

9:21 PM  
Anonymous canarygirl said...

Cracking up! (ummm...jeez, that was a lame one even for me) I am so going to Amazon to read the reviews! LMFAO!

4:07 AM  
Anonymous Elle said...

LOL you should work in advertising! Although I wouldn't buy that particular product if you wrote for it anyways LOL. Looks - scary.

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Ben Dover said...

Kevin,

We laugh, but let me tell you...

Once you try one of these, you won't stop using it. It keeps your prostate healthy, but oh my goodness at the pleasure.

You won't have time to work on your web page. You'll be way too busy (heh heh)

6:43 PM  

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