Who are you?
Will and I have been trying to down-size the extra stuff that we have. Not the "stuff" in our pants, 'cause you know...with wild fire season coming up in California, the fire departments are going to be needing all the guys with really big ones to help put out all the fires. And seeing how there's only 4 or 5 of us in the entire state with hoses this big, we can't really be down-sizing that stuff anytime soon.
No need to thank us, it's the least we can do. We're just trying to keep California safe.
See? I know that it's probably more than you wanted to see of my privs. But, when we went through training last week, it took like 5 or 6 guys to hold onto it, otherwise it would've just gone flying all over the place and that would've been extremely uncomfortable.
You can't see me because I'm out of frame, but I'm back there smoking a cigarette. And I bet you didn't believe me...Do you have any idea how much beer we need to drink to achieve this result? Lots.
Okay, back to the original story. The extra "stuff" that we have that we don't need happens to be a lot. So, we've been gradually going through things to give away to the rescue mission. Because I'm sure that someone homeless is going to really want one of our old surfboards or coffee tables to lug around on their grocery cart.
The other day Will turned to me dusting off an object and said, "You don't want this baton, do you?"
And I just looked at him like he was speaking complete craziness and incredulously I replied, "Do I want that baton? Do I want that baton?? What the hell??? That's just crazy-talk. For Christ's sake, I'm a 38 year old man..."
"OF COURSE I WANT THAT BATON!!! WHAT ARE YOU??? MUCHO LOCO???"
Do I want that baton...
I swear, sometimes it's like he doesn't even know me.
Stumble It!
posted by Kevin Charnas | 9:03 AM
33 Comments:
Seriously...jeez!
And nexthe will ask if you truly need the boa....
Really, once you lose the baton...
everything else goes to hell/or the mission in a hand basket...
LOL...my partner and I just had the exact same conversation! Except for the whole baton part. I just don't understand how anyone could NOT love the Colette bed from Crate and Barrel. Men. Sheesh.
Duh!
Thanks for the Halloween flashback! :)
Carrie
Just found your site a few days ago and oh my freaking GOD, you are hilarious!
I mean, who *doesn't* need a baton? And an orange feather boa.
How dare he?
What is he thinking man?
With a 'piece' that big, you can't get through life withOUT a baton!
I need to have a sit down with that man.
Wait, do you know how to twirl that thing...or the baton?
Every man could use a good baton. What was he thinking?
I can only think to say:
"Yay!"
Everything else is x-rated.
I think this post needs music for the grand finale baton photo! Oh my Lord...too funny. And very few people look that good in horizontal tights. ;)
Thanks for the laugh...you had me at "stuff" in our pants.
Forget the damned baton. What about those tights? They leave me speechless.
It's so comforting to know that you and Will are doing your part to save your beloved state from wildfires!
As for the baton, I am shocked and appalled that he would even question that!
Men....can't live with 'em.....
End of story! (hee-hee)
I love the costume!
Baton? What Baton? All I heard were the tights & feathers fighting with each other. Maybe those glasses were yelling baton...
God I need a drink now.
Thanks for the laughs Kevin
Love ya
Mo
Oh. My. Got.
Died laughing.
Of COURSE you want the baton.
No brainer.
Does he need air?
I mean, seriously.
Hell - you wouldn't be Elton John without it!!! BTW - I have a costume closet in my new house!!!! Once I gather all my bits, it should be a fairly impressive place.
Would you mind brining your hose to Florida? We could use all the help we can get.
Um, yeah. I still have mine from grade three- my parents sent it for my daughter recently. I see you are as ruthless with purging as I am. "Oh the napkin I spilled my drink on when we went to see Earth Wind and Fire in Vegas, well of course I'm keeping that."
This post? Made me laugh until I had tears in my eyes.
I <3 your blog.
hide your pom pom's , hes obviously got spring cleaning fever
obviously he needs a little baton spanking as punishment for his wrongthought.
then he may change his mind about you keeping it...especially if you wear those tights. ;)
Of course you want your baton, who wouldnt??
Listen up Charnas...I can't laugh anymore, I might throw up. You are priceless.
Did he steal the streamers that were on the ends of that baton too? Dear lord, we can not have him cleaning ever again.
Before you know it, he's going to be after that boa too... sheesh!
Holy pectoral muscles Batman!
OH my god. That picture!!!! The hilarity!
Also? The one guy in that photo with the fan of water around his head belongs at Carnival in Brazil.
(Sorry, that was the best comment I could come up with. You give me batons & orange and black-striped tights in the same post, and you get a distracted-ass comment in return. It's just the way it is.)
I too, am wondering where the streamers are for the baton...Maybe Will is right...you need a proper baton, Kevin. That one just won't do. And don't even get me *started* on the boot tassels that go along with the baton. ;)
So which one of you was causing that terrific fan effect on the backside of that fireman's head? Because that, my friend? Circus quality impressive.
Heeee heeee....baton....penises..
laughing. I want the friggin striped tights those Kev. Seriously....
We have so much fancy dress (note: I never said too much) that it lives in a summerhouse in the garden. You can disappear inside, dress up, and make a glamorous entrance through a wooden archway covered in roses before strutting back to the house in full view of the neighbours. Come on over!
What else did you find in your clearout?
The picture seriously made my day (and the wildfire tangent, hehehehe) - never get rid of the baton
or the orange boa
or the pants
Must. Keep. All. Of. It.
Wowza! You make one hot guy in too much orange and too many feathers! Love it!
I realize that I'm late to the chaos, but I think have some answers here:
1. You wear hosiery when handling hoses--geeze, every fool knows that.
2. When the hoses eventually lose pressure, you beat the fire to death with a baton--geeze, every fool knows that.
[From the former fool, Poopie]
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