Poundin' Pa's Balls
*** "I'm 5'11'', 180 lbs, 30 years old, i've got big tough balls. If you're interested and able to host, meet me here at blah-blah time.
I'm wanting to meet up, and you restrain me, spread eagle. You slowly start to work my balls with ball torture... Tapping, squeezing, hitting, pulling, etc.... Gradually you build up the intensity, getting more and more intense so that by the end, you are pounding away on my balls.
I'm interested in trying that out to see what it's like (i'll be gagged and restrained of course, lol). Let's find my limits and push them some. Safe and sane, of course. Interested? Bring it on, tough man." ***
I actually have transcribed this from a bathroom stall wall especially for you. And I also took the liberty of editing out some parts that I doubt you really want to read. I hope that the original author doesn't mind.
So, he'll be "gagged and restrained of course, lol". "Of Course"?? and, "lol"??? and "Safe and sane, of course"???
If I had this done to me, I would most certainly be a perpetually vomiting soprano. Not to mention crying, I would be perpetually crying...and screaming. I would be a perpetually vomiting, crying, screaming soprano. I would be Mariah Carey.
Why am I surprised by this??? Sometimes, I'm just clueless. When I read this, I suddenly felt like I belonged on Little House on the Prairie and I was sweet, little Laura Ingalls,
"What's "poundin' balls", Pa?"
And then, they'd explain it to me and say,
"Well, half-pint, I'm afraid that some dudes like to get pounded in the balls. It's nothing you need to worry about, Pa don't like that."
Although, Michael Landon as "Pa" sure was hot. I think I may have had to pound Pa's balls if he had wanted me to. This Pa:
Not this Pa:
Or this Pa:
They're certainly ready for it though, aren't they?
Yuk.
Double yuk.
Actually, make it a triple yuk and a
What...the...FUCK???
Stumble It!
posted by Kevin Charnas | 1:58 PM
25 Comments:
Oh, of course,lol
WTFFFuckitty fuck fuck???
Just one favor: please do not ruin Laverne & Shirley for me, ok?
I'm just.... wow....
I'm never going to be able to watch Little House on the Prairie ever again without thinking about this post.
(is it wrong that I'm still giggling?)
C'mon....you've been around the internet a time or two. You've never stumbled on one of those freaky deaky bdsm websites?? They scare me, but I'm also inexplicably fascinated...like the way I'm fascinated by serial killers.
Dare I admit that I have actually seen that man's website? Oh the places b3ta sends me.
You know, invoking half pint is SERIOUS, man. Serious!
Sweet butter on a biscuit, it never occurred to me that a guy would actually WANT someone to do this to him. I mean...I thought for sure it was against the Man Law or something. And now I find out that guys actually troll for opportunities to get...um...racked. It's just so wrong.
Was that Santa? I guess he's got some time on his hands this time of year...
I have to say that I am VERY glad that I don't own a pair. But if you really want to freak someone out on Halloween, wear that red get-up. I wouldn't open the door for that!
I have to say how impressed I am that you twisted (pardon the pun) Little House in with Poundin' tha balls...
I am so enamored by your writing skill, I want to plant a big 'ole smooch on your cute little cheek.
I'm amazed at that search.
*opens mouth to say something*
*dies instead*
EEEEEWWWWWWWW! Of course.
There's this picture of three 70 plus year old men engaged in some 70 year old men sexing. I email it to a friend of mine in Texas every three years or so. There are some things that can't be unseen, but I'm making sure of that.
Maybe these guys are talking about melon balls.
Nah, I don't think so either.
Reading the start of this post, I never would have guessed it would lead to Little House on the Prairie.
I can't wait to see what you do with The Waltons and Brady Bunch. And, at the same time, I am very, very afraid.
Pa Ingalls?!? Really?
Dude! You have brought Laura Ingalls to a place she never needed to go. I mean, they never did that episode where Laura runs away to the brothel, now did they?
Oh, like Laura is all innocent!
We ALL know what happens later, we're just in denial about it. She gets boned by her teacher when she's like 10 or something, but at least she ends up marrying him.
Okay, maybe she married him first, whatever. She's a prairie slut and we all know it.
And her last name ends up being "Wilder", clearly a derivative of "Wild-HER". She probably ended up pow-wowing balls all over that prairie.
WTF is soooo right!!
Um, how do I get the image of Santa Claus in a leather corset, thigh highs, and a jock strap permanently removed from my head?
one. i'd forgotten all about those little in the big woods types. i read all those a dozen times when I was a kid.
second. EUCH!!!!!! EEEEEUUUUUCHHH.
Makes me want to go and scrub my yoga mat.
I can't be the only one who wants to know what exactly you had to censor, right?
PS. I miss pa. May his balls rest in peace.
OMG, I'd love to spend an afternoon in your head. It would be quite entertaining.
Oh, something so wrong about seeing little Laura Ingall's picture on the same page as "Poundin' Balls."
I may never be able to watch Little House On The Prarie again.
Can not believe you found santa from the beach and got him to pose for your blog!
Bossy will see your What The Fuck and raise you one Holy Mother Of Gawd!
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