Contemplating the Land of Myotonia

When I was looking for the video a few posts back of all the people fainting and falling over, I came across this video. I think it's fricking hysterical. What's so damn funny to me, is that the dickhead who keeps waving the umbrella is trying to induce their "fainting". That's real nice. He keeps waving the umbrella to get them to "faint" for the camera. And the goats are probably just like, "Dude...that is so fucked up. Stop it."

I wish that humans did this when they get "excited". Just imagine all the possibilities. Someone is bringing you a perfectly cooked filet or a giant platter of gorgeous sushi and you just go, "BAAA-BAAA" and fall out of your chair with your arms and legs straight up in the air. But, you wouldn't have to be embarrassed because EVERYONE would be doing it. Everyone in the restaurant would be "BAAA"-ing and falling over. I think that'd be SO fucking money.

And just think, for instance, I like jumping out and scaring people. I know, it's not very nice, but I like it. So, would I be able to scare them? Or would I just fall over from the excitement of the anticipation? And then, when I fell over, would they fall over?

And what happens if you happen to be someone who gets excited when you shit or piss? That would be unfortunate and rather messy.

And if you were a knife juggler? That could be bad.

Tightrope walkers, well...that's a hard one to call. Stiff legs might help. But, I don't know. It's been years since I worked the high wire.

I guess that high speed sports would be out. But then again, the spectators might LOVE it.

I doubt that there would be anymore wars. And killing of any kind would be rather challenging. As would sex. We'd have to get creative. You'd have to fall in just the right way.

You'd have to plan your myotonic episodes. You'd have to be really organized. I wouldn't do very well I'm afraid. I'm a wonderful procrastinator and would just inevitably put-off planning my myotonic fits and would no doubt perform them at inopportune times. Such as being at the top of a flight of stairs.

However, a FAIR WARNING should be issued. This would only work if EVERYONE had myotonia. Because if someone could come along at any time and just wave a big ass umbrella over our heads and we all fell over...Well, we'd just be a heard of animals that reacted instead of acted. Someone else would dictate our reactions and those wouldn't be based on individual integrity, but rather a helpless, frightened mob mentality.

Hey, wait a minute...that sounds vaguely familiar.