Dude, Where's My Brain?

I saw a bumper sticker recently here at the University that said: "If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance."

Well, unfortunately we have...and we do...and we continued to do so. And ignorance continues to hold civilization back in many instances as you no doubt, have already been made aware of.

Recently, I've been reading some articles and seeing different news clips that make my brain numb with monotony (besides our current social/political situation). I know, you're probably thinking, "RECENTLY?"

On CBS Sunday This Morning, which Will and I often watch on Sunday mornings, they had a segment on "How To Care For Your Flowers". They gave helpful information and it seems rather harmless, doesn't it? But then, they also had inquired as to when we might be able to expect the fragrance of the rose to be BRED, BACK INTO THE MOTHERFUCKING FLOWER! (Those are my words, not theirs.) They are working on petunias (the white mouse of flowers in the research kingdom) to understand how to bring the scent back to roses because they've genetically manipulated them TOO DAMN MUCH!

I'm so fucking annoyed by this. Guess what, assholes? The universe/creation/evolution/god - knows what its doing. Believe it or not (unfortunately, many choose "not"). I've never seen a REAL rose and contemplated that it wasn't pretty enough. I've never wished for a rose to be a different color. As I recall, the last time I really regarded one, I was humbled by how beautiful it was. And by how truly incredible it smelled. It was the whole package. And human hands (besides planting and nurturing the damn thing) had NOTHING to do with it. How arrogant that we think that we should. But then again, I suppose it is our middle name; "Homo Arrogant Sapiens". Damn Uncle Arrog, being named after him...the name should've died with the man.

By the way, for the genetically engineered fucked-up roses that don't have the scent accompanying them? They expect a scent to possibly be back in 5 years, definitely 10. They'll smell like farts, but they'll definitely have a scent.

Then there was a segment on women being turned on, or relaxed, or their hair frizzes or shit, I don't know...and now I can't find the damn article, but anyway, it had to do with something in a man's sweat. There's a study going on at some University in Florida, or Wisconsin, or Montana, or fucking Paraguay - I don't know...I think it was Florida. ANYWAY, they're doing a study on this...on something in a man's sweat that women find appealing on a unconscious biological level.

GUESS WHAT, FUCKFACES??? THEY'RE CALLED PHEROMONES! I learned about them when I was like 6.

I don't know about you, but when I smell a cologne or a perfume that is nice and has been lightly applied, not painted on, I think, "Oh...that's a nice scent." But, it's never made me want to growl and humpty-hump.

And neither has S.B.O. (severe body odor). However, just a little bit of a...scent...a light funk, a Je ne sais quoi (a pheromone), and I'm aroused. My "interest" is peaked, followed by a slight growl and a bit of the humpty-hump, even if it's imagined.

When I was doing some reading on pheromones for this post, I came across a portion of a study that cracked my shit up. Here it is:

"It went as follows: First the researchers anesthetized a male golden hamster and placed it in a cage. Then they let a normal male hamster into the same cage. The normal hamster either ignored the anesthetized stranger or bit its ears and dragged it around the cage." ("bit its ears and dragged it around the cage"??? That is just so fucking money! I don't know about you, but I call this foreplay...clearly, it's foreplay.)


"Next the researchers repeated the procedure with an anesthetized male hamster on which they had rubbed some vaginal secretions (Lovely - I'm sure it was thrilled when it woke up.) from a female hamster. This time the normal male hamster's reaction was quite different: instead of rejecting the anesthetized male, the hamster tried to mate with it." (Bow-chicka-bow-bow. "Ah yeah...Daddy Hammy like? Daddy Hammy like? Look at what Daddy Hammy do to Daddy Hammy!! Oh yeah...you fluffy little bitch, you like my fluffy stuff all over your furry ass, don't you? Yeah...that's what I thought. Too bad your ass is all anesthetized and shit, 'cause we be GETTIN' IT ON, HO!")
(A Secret Sense in the Human Nose: Pheromones and Mammals)

I just want humans to slow down a little. To know that we don't have to manipulate EVERYTHING. To know that there's something at work far greater than ourselves, that actually knows what its doing. And we're not really in control and that's okay. Because an asteroid a kilometer long (.62 miles) could plunge into Earth and threaten human civilization.

But even Jesus said, "Be not afraid". I just wish that the same person who said, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!" also said, "AND LET COMMON SENSE BE COMMON!"

***Disclaimer: The author is fully aware that the motivation behind genetically altering flowers and getting to the basics of human chemistry is financially based and consumer focused. Which he freely interprets as an even GREATER lack in common sense and an act of frivolity.***