At a Dull Party? Here's a Solution...
Imagine for a moment that you are the hostess of a party. And things seem to have slowed down a bit. People are enjoying themselves, but not to the caliber that a guest at the party feels that they should be. So, this guest takes it upon her philanthropic self to go on a search-and-rescue-the-party mission.
She locates your (remember, you're the hostess) PANTY/LINGERIE drawer and decides to RELOCATE that drawer to ground zero of the party. In seconds, everyone at the party has your underwear.
They're wearing it on their heads.
They're wearing it on their faces.
They're using the G-strings as slingshots and altering the original intent of the Hors d'oeuvres.
Even your cats have joined in the fun and are batting your panties around and running away with them, off to hide them in their favorite air vent.
This is what our dear friend Rave Dogg did for a hostess of a Holiday party this past Christmas season. She felt it was the least she could do. She's a woman after my own Cross-Your-Heart bra. Don't you think?
Stumble It!
posted by Kevin Charnas | 4:44 PM
19 Comments:
I must get an invitation to the next party they throw. While I have never resorted to dumping my lingerie drawer, we have been known to play a drinking game called "Three Man". The three man hat has evolved over the years, and has been known to include undergarments. GOOD TIMES!
First - Oh Queen - I LOVED "Three Man" in college. Many fantastic memories (fuzzy).
Second - HELL NO. I have a dog. No matter how well I hide my undies he has found a way to dig them out of the hamper (let's not even wonder why). I'm way past the girlie limit of 5/15. That's the ratio of bad (period) panties to nice ones.
Many of mine have weird chew holes in them. Ya, I'm a freak for keeping them. But, I'm a single, practical lesbian. Nobody's looking at them at this point in my life. They are Victoria's Secret at least (yes, cotton - duh?). Do I get some ANY girlie points back? No. Why am I posting this comment? What is wrong with me that I'm willing to throw this out there?
I would kill my "friend" if they did that. My biggest fear during tornado season is not that my family and I will be blown away--it is that my period underwear will be blown away and yet still traced back to me.
I'm a freak too, Amyerj.
HAHAHAHAHA! I totally want to use a g-string to shoot pigs in a blanket across the room at my next party! (and I,too, am a member of the "Would be mortified if anyone saw my period undies (WBMIASMPU)" club.
I'm afraid my drawer would be sadly lacking. If given proper lead time I could perhaps plant some interesting items.
1. Your friend would be awesome to hang out with someone elses house however I would never give her my address. And I wouldn't wear panties when we met.
2. Marmite Breathe - How can you be so fucked up and so much like me?
3. I stole your tagline today. I was feeling bad about it but compared to the panty swiper I'm totally an angel.
You change the r to an n and panty becomes party...seriously, look it up.
Its way funny in a twisted sort of way. Then I thought what if your the owner of said undies. You just have to hope there are no skid marks visable on those bad boys
A friend of mine as a wee boy ... 'Freed 'his mother's bras and her panties from her drawer...
While she was out shopping...
So when she was walking up the street you could imagine her surprise...
Her dismay?
Her mortification? When she saw her private things hanging on her tree...in the front yard,
in Suburban, BC
on a Saturday,
when everyone was outside playing, as it was a beautiful sunny day...
And they, the panites and the bras, were certainly colourful!
and he thought it was art...
My friend thought the 'art' on the tree was truly beautiful... I think the 'art' was in mustering up the dignity to retrieve the underwear that floated into the neighbours yard...
Hmmmm... my lingerie drawer is 50/50... there are plenty of lacy and silky bits in there, but they are pretty evenly matched with cotton hanes-her-way bikinis and sports bras.
Not the sort of thing that needs to be on my living room floor.
Or on anyone's head...
I recently posted about my my shopping spree for new undies and bras. I wonder what size that one was ?
My gawd I would die if that happened. But it is a good heads-up (no pun intended) to update my lingerie drawer before my next party. One never knows when their thong will be used to fling a crudite across the room.
1. Can I have my bra back?
2. queen of mayhem -- how the hell do you remember three man??? I used to play that game all the time in college. I don't remember it, but I played!
a) This is why upgrading the undies is on my 101 Things in 1001 Days list. [well, it wasn't the reason at the time that I made the list, but it sure as hell is now.] Because becoming increasingly social is also on this list and judging by you people, I'll need the upgrade just to survive the party games.
2) Growing up, my best friend, during a birthday party/sleepover at her house, decided to share with us the contents of her mom's "toy chest" in the master bedroom. There were some interesting objects in there. And some of the girls played dress-up. (or would that be dress-down? or dress-off?) Great party. Her mom, not so amused. mk
Love your friend! Though I just can't wear g-strings. I figure if I want to floss my ass I'll do it without the panties.
Well...
I don't wear any kind of undies ...
ever...
AHHH HAAA... JUSSSSSST KIDDING...
I just wanted to say that!!
I really do.
Oh Kevie...
thanks for the ever so kind words over at the Queens...
it made my day....
you're the best...
Backs quietly out of the room.... I forgot my 10-foot pole.
1. I was so wasted, it was simple luck that I got the drawer with underwear still bearing tags.
2. That Marine looked right at home with a shiney pink thong across his face.
3. I now realize I should have followed "do unto others.."; if anyone saw my undie drawer they'd projectile vomit... Aunt Flo has come to town unannounced several times and it looks like Stephen King filmed The Elevator Scene in my pants (TMI, I know... But I just love to share); and if you bleach 'em: Dude, they're clean.
Holy cow, I used to play "Three Man" too -- in high school.
Anyway, I'd absolutely DIE if my partygoers dumped out my undie drawer. They'd laugh so hard at the assortment, everything from preggo panties (why are those still in there?) to thongs (that I don't wear - except for maybe 5 minutes for the hubs). Then they'd find my special "box" -- now don't get your mind stuck in the gutter...it's full of teeth. Yup, the toothfairy box lives in my undie drawer!
Carrie
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