Things I've Overheard Recently
I actually heard this yelled at work when I went downstairs to get some water:
"MY VAGINA IS PISSED OFF!!! IT'S ANGRY AS HELL AND IT'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"
Me and my penis ran back upstairs.
*****
I overheard this while walking by a young woman here at UC Santa Barbara, while she was oblivious, talking on her cell phone:
"My boobs were not what they are now. I like these ones much better!"
Great...Okay.
*****
I overheard this while walking by a playground with the dogs. An older sister and a younger brother.
The boy: "STOP IT! STOP IT!! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!!!"
The sister shot back: "Oh, shut up. No I'm not...I'm probably just going to hurt you real bad."
At least she's honest.
*****
A father and two young boys in front of a urinal discussing the blue sanitary round thing in the bottom of it.
The boys: "Dad? That looks like a big piece of gum!" "YEAH DAD!! IT LOOKS LIKE GUM!!"
The father: "Trust me, that's not gum."
The boys: "DAD! IT LOOKS LIKE GUM!"
The father: "It's not gum, that you can be sure of."
*****
A female professor of Classics to a group of testosterone-raging college age boys:
"Why are you all laughing? Ohh...The giant phalluses...I'm used to those."
She thought that they were laughing before.
Stumble It!
posted by Kevin Charnas | 11:55 AM
17 Comments:
Kevin,
You make me believe in God.
I so needed the laugh today.
Argh.
I love you and your penis beating a hasty retreat!
Actually, I loved all of these. Thanks for the laugh!
Crank - Wow...I'm SO glad that I could help. :) I think that God DEFINITELY has a sense of humor. I usually go by the notion of: "You want to make God laugh? Tell her your plans."
Sayre - We almost locked the door behind us. ANd you're welcome. :)
I'm going to use that one! "MY VAGINA IS PISSED OFF!" HA! That will get a rise out of people
"I'm used to them." or "I've used them."?
I have GOT to know why that woman's vagina was so angry. Must have been one heck of a yeast infection!
Angry Vaginas. Sounds like a good name for a punk rock band.
even better than the buzzcocks - although they are responsible for one of the great punk anthems of all time ...
"MY VAGINA IS PISSED OFF!!! IT'S ANGRY AS HELL AND IT'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"
...stop spying on me then blogging about it...
"MY VAGINA IS PISSED OFF!!! IT'S ANGRY AS HELL AND IT'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"
So that is why your waitress in the first post was having such a bad day....
Steppin' - HA! Definitely. It's sure to get EVERYONE'S attention.
Mamma - I work in a building that also has two television studios in it, so I have a feeling that they were filming a woman performing a segment of "The Vagina Monologues", but I've never seen the play, so I can't be sure. Or...it was just pissed. :)
Wordgirl & Mad Muthas - absolutely...I think that "The Giant Phalluses" wouldn't be so bad either...or maybe "The Angry Buttholes"?? That has a nice ring to it too, no?
Janet - Sorry, baby...I'll stop. HA!
Pend - Good point. They may have been fighting and she just didn't tell us about it. Or maybe she had an angry butthole.
i like the vagina one too, you knew i would.
m
"I overheard this while walking by a playground with the dogs. An older sister and a younger brother.
The boy: "STOP IT! STOP IT!! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!!!"
The sister shot back: "Oh, shut up. No I'm not...I'm probably just going to hurt you real bad.
At least she's honest."
If the boy was a girl, youj ust described my daughters beautifully.
"I overheard this while walking by a playground with the dogs. An older sister and a younger brother.
The boy: "STOP IT! STOP IT!! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!!!"
The sister shot back: "Oh, shut up. No I'm not...I'm probably just going to hurt you real bad.
At least she's honest."
If the boy was a girl, youj ust described my daughters beautifully.
Ok girls, WTF is an "angry Vagina"?
Wait i'm not sure I want to know the answer to that.
LMAO: The father: "It's not gum, that you can be sure of."
My boys have asked me if the white ones are onions. Nope, same answer as above
You had me at "my vagina"! Thanks for the laugh.
You're sure it's not gum?
You're lucky you weren't in the bathroom when my husband told our son that thing in the urinal was a "mint". Why would anyone call it that, just to make little boys want to reach in and . . . yuck, I can't take it anymore. Must. Get. More. Handsanitizer!
You too funny (I meant that).
Carrie
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home