It doesn't matter who they think you are. It matters who you think you are.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Teasers And Themes



K.D. Lang's "Miss Chatelaine"

So, there was theme music to this trip of 2600 miles that we've logged in the last 3 weeks. And this terrific song was one of them. Imagine my 79 year old Father in the backseat of my car singing along with the rest of us and Miss Chatelaine as we traversed the landscape of the Southwest. It really was too priceless for words.

Now, off to work, then I'm going to attempt to start piecing together stories to tell you all about how:

* The dogs locked the keys in the car in Gallup, New Mexico, along with my cell phone and the roadside assistance phone number.

* My Father literally passed out at a winery and ended up on the floor after staring at some woman's severely exposed boobs for a half hour.

* My Mother was lamenting over the terrible weather and congestion of people in Africa, as though it were London.

* My Father wearing a wig and my Mother wearing a pith helmet for the duration of Christmas Eve.

* My cousin Ellen in Santa Fe, recounting the time I said something TO my 10th grade gym teacher about her pussy (the teacher's pussy, that is) TO MY PARENTS!!! Then telling them about the time that I stole a toilet.

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11 Comments:

Blogger Lynilu said...

Gallup?! EEEUUUUWWWW!! Hope it didn't take much time to get cleared. i have a friend who lives there. I don't know why. And Cousin Ellen . . . . for heaven's sake!! Put a sock in that girl's mouth!!

2:44 PM  
Blogger Stepping Over the Junk said...

do relatives get crazier as we all get older or have we all been this way? You stole a toilet? DO TELL! Were you wearing go-go boots?

4:55 PM  
Blogger Sayre said...

Kevin's back! Kevin's back! **happy dance** Can't wait to hear the tales of a three week road trip with parents. I bet you could write a book!

And Stepping??? They were always crazy - you just never noticed it until now... I have been and shall always be the "weird aunt" in my family. In spite of the fact that I managed to get married again almost 12 years ago and do not have hairs growing out of my chin (my earlobes, yes, but not my chin!).

5:46 PM  
Blogger Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I can NOT wait to hear all about it. Missed you terribly.

7:09 PM  
Blogger Mamma said...

I must echo Sayre and Wondermom's comments. Can't wait!!!

7:11 PM  
Blogger kim said...

yayyyyy youre home!! Ok start with the one where your dad passed out lol
no wait ...the dogs ...no
OH HELL JUST PICK ONE !!!

7:52 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

My roadside assistance number is on the outside of my car window - must be for that very reason!

Glad you survived the holidays, your liquor recap cracked me up!

Can't wait to hear more about your trip and your hilarious fam!!

Happy belated New Year Kevin (well, it is only the 5th)!

9:52 PM  
Blogger Pendullum said...

I love a good tease....

Sounds like a devine trip... Especially the part about your cousin telling on you... I can not imagine how you bring up a teacher's pussy in grade ten but I am so wanting to read that post....
And when and how did you steal a toilet? And why would you WANT to steal a toilet?

And on a side line... I used to hear KD in smokey bars before she made it big... She used dress like a punk cowboy singer with horn rimmed glasses,a punk black short 'lid' all done up spikey and converse running shoes... So glad she found a dresser...
But it used to be so much fun jumping around and dancing with her... She had a lot of spunk.... and that is what your trip had...
Have you heard her new album the Songs from the 49th Parrallell? BRILLIANT!!!

7:36 AM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

With bated breath I await your return...YOU BIG *SS TEASE. ('cept you don't have a big *ss because you are my wonder-power-twin in the pool.)

10:29 AM  
Blogger mama_miga said...

Delurking to say that I really really really hope you have pictures of your parents in wigs and helmets. Sounds like it was a great trip. (damn blabbermouth cousins, lol)

1:57 PM  
Blogger Nikki said...

Dude, you need to blog...like, right NOW.

Missed ya

8:39 PM  

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