Blabber Mouth Fresh
My Mom says that unless the words are positive, (people in a marriage, partnership, or relationship) no one should talk after 9 pm. She says people are too tired and nothing constructive will come from it. I agree with her, I just wish that I could always follow it.
I really try to follow the analogy of a tube of toothpaste, when it comes to my words. I forget where I heard it, but it made perfect sense to me: Have you ever tried to put toothpaste back into the tube after you've squeezed it out?
And another one I try to follow: To not speak ill, only requires silence.
Okay, so I have a feeling that you won't be surprised when I say that it's hard for me to "not speak", but last night at 10:20 pm, when I was tired as hell and approaching bitch-on-wheels stage, why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? Why did I have to say in disgust, "DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" Why couldn't I just keep the toothpaste in the tube? Why couldn't I have just rolled over and gone to sleep?
Stumble It!
posted by Kevin Charnas | 7:31 AM
15 Comments:
Did you mean it? If not start squeezing zingy minty-fresh apologies about. Tie tight the knot of forgiveness floss and .. oh I give up.
i hate it when i do that. but we dont go to bed angry. we'll talk whatever it is to the death if we have to. but man i hate it when its MY fault. when IM the one that didn't keep the toothpaste in .
Sending internet love and reassurance your way...
We have a life supply of toothpaste on hand...cuz I am always letting the toothpaste out.
Sometimes...it takes two days to put a cap on it!
Musta been a full moon or something last night cause I feel you, Kev.
Flowers and chocolates always work wonders. Grab that credit card and get busy.
I prefer call lillies to roses, and caramel chocolates, please.
we had a fight last night too... on the phone...it was awful.... but you know what...if theres love... then NO fight is more than skin deep.. and one tender word CAN comfort.. even though it might not be acknowledged at the moment.apologies are always comforting.
HUggles to you.
Moobs - I did mean it. I almost told him that it was all I could muster to not punch him in the head. At least I didn't say that... :)
Becky - SO glad that you two can talk about things, what is so frustrating is that Will looks at just about any type of discussion as an argument. He HATES confrontation, but I'd rather discuss something before it turns into something that it's not. The trouble is, he clams up and doesn't say anything. He becomes defensive and something that started out rather calm blows up to where he's not talking and I'm left trying to explain myself to a blank face, which unfortunately infuriates me.
Jessica - thank you...
Jen - it sucks, huh? or squeezes, or something...
Christina - thanks baby, you got it...I'll be right over.
Grafx - Sorry about your fight too, but you're right. I apologized this morning and tried to tell him where I was coming from, he did the same. We're fine, I just have some regrets, that's all.
Moobs - or DO that...
I know what it feels like, to have been a total bitch, and not even have had the release of a really heated, productive argument. Since I have difficulties keeping the toothpaste in the tube myself, may I suggest venting at your cat and pretending it's Will ... or is that a bad/borderline abusive idea?
Sometimes we squeeze the tube without really trying because we need to, subconsciously? Happens to the best of us.
The test is long term, not short. Squeezing the tube is a short term act. Living with the toothpaste out on the counter is the long term test.
Did you flare your Howdy Doody nostrils???
Ohhh...Honey...
My daughter always finds that when you push out the toothpaste too far...Just leave it in the sink...
as it all gets washed away...
Take a deep breath...
and wash it away with juicy smooches and a few tears...
at least it your breath and your being will be a bit sweeter later... even if the after taste is a bit bitter to swallow.
Sending warm thoughts your way!
As something of a hothead myself, I can only aspire to be like your mom, knowing it will probably never happen. That said, we're all focusing on Kevin losing his cool, but shouldn't this be rewound a bit further to whatever Will did to provoke his outburst? It doesn't serve any relationship well for one person to be made wrong. 2 viewpoints = 1 disagreement. Hopefully followed by 2 apologies. Good luck sorting it out.
I also think that two people who Never Fight must not really be engaging in any kind of meaningful way. For what it's worth.
Emma - we have two awesome dogs and sadly, I'd rather yell at Will. :)
Anonymous - true, very true...thanks for your comment.
Pend - if I would've flared these babies, it surely would've been a sign for war. HA! and thanks...
HeartinSF - YEAH!!! :) But actually, you're right. There was one apology. Usually, when he apologizes, it's not really an apology, it's one of those; "I'M SORRY! GOD!" Um yeah, that's worse. He's getting better at it. I don't know why people think that they'll crumble if they apologize about something, when in actuality, it's SO liberating to realize that you're still standing there.
And you're right, it's not the disagreements that bother me so much, but the lack of real discussion that leads to a mutual understanding...and then if I just lose my cool, he pulls into a shell.
And here's me, trying to stuff the toothpaste back into the tube, squeezing it until not a bit of oxygen is left in it only hoping to suck all that paste back in (just like when I've put my foot in my mouth)! We all do this and I agree that if we didn't and everything was well-choreographed and came out exactly perfect, than we'd be living in a 50's sitcom! No thanks! :)
Carrie
that's somehow offensive? what the? then there's no help for me. neither you or your mom are night owls, are you? yah, i wake up at 9pm. it's in the morning that i get into trouble.
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