I'm Awake Now...

I managed to have a really restful weekend, a rejuvenating couple of days that I was desperately in need of. I went to bed early on Friday night, arose early on Saturday morning and took the dogs to the beach. I had my morning coffee and swam my laps in the pool. I enjoyed a healthy breakfast of oatmeal (and yes, with flaxseed, Jen, Jessica and Nikki who I KNOW appreciate such humor) with lots of fresh seasonal organic fruit. And subsequently, I almost shit my pants about 2 hours later. I napped with Will and the dogs. I read, ate and read some more. We walked outside, while I farted up a storm. The neighbors steered clear of me. Thank goodness I wasn't on my rollerblades while I was tooting like crazy, I would've been doing about 55 mph. I think that the dogs would've had trouble keeping up. Although, I guess I would've been saving on gas. I read some more of Infinite Life and meditated and found some balance again...at least until tomorrow.

We had a relaxing evening on Saturday (I was all done being gassy), which melded into a peaceful Sunday morning as well. Then, we headed into Santa Barbara and collected our friend Kaelen and we were talking about fur-burgers, the neighbor's scrotum and French-kissing old people in the first 60 seconds we were together. Aaahhh...good friends and good stimulating conversation, there's nothing like it.

However, inspite of our juvenile conversation, we did a very responsible, grown-up, adult thing and went and saw An Inconvenient Truth . It's laid out for us, there's really no more guessing. The ones who are sending out a conflicting message are the ones who have direct financial interest in keep things status quo. The U.S. has GREATLY fallen behind the rest of the developed world and not only is it extremely embarrassing, it's immoral and criminal. Individual U.S. cities and states are jumping on board with Kyoto, but as of yet, the country's administration has not. To the rest of humanity in modern countries, we must look like the biggest bunch of in-bred motherfuckers that there ever was.

So, when this movement says; You can either be part of the problem, or part of the solution.

I say; "You can either start helping to clean up shit, or you can eat shit. And if you don't want to help clean up, I'll be happy to force feed you."

Truly though, it's easy to start. On the link provided above, there are more ways (than listed below) that you can begin (if you're not already) conserving at home. In the last month, Will and I have cut our fuel consumption in half. We're actually looking into getting rid of a car and I would primarily use my bike and the bus. I don't know how feasible it really is, but we're going to try. I know that it's not going to be convenient, but neither is killing the planet that gives us life. I know that for many of you with kids and not living in a bigger metropolis, that it's virtually impossible for you to use public transportation.

But, here are some other things we've been doing, or are going to start doing:

* We've begun hanging more clothes to dry instead of using the dryer.

* We drive slower to conserve more gas (55 to 60 mph), you burn more fuel the faster you drive. If you can use cruise control at 55 mph, that would be the most efficient. It may piss some people off, I really don't give a fuck. I stay in the right lane, listen to some good music and they can lick my crack. I even smile at the really angry ones and sometimes blow them kisses. Unfortunately, they don't see the humor...but I do. It's not my fault they're late. And again, they can lick my crack. It will save on toilet paper.

* We've started using organic cleaners and Earth friendly detergents.

* We're going to start re-using grocery bags or use canvas bags for grocery shopping.

* We buy locally grown organic food.

* We recycle (of course).

* We buy recycled paper products.

* We don't use toilet paper, but instead, we use the neighbor's mail to wipe our asses.

* We're going to start using energy efficient light bulbs. (Electricity is one of the BIGGEST forms of pollution due to the coal burned to produce the electricity). And not just turning off lights, but unplugging electrical appliances when not using them (computers, cell-phone chargers, stereos & TV's). If it's too dark at night, we're going to burn some of the neighbor's things for light.

* We're going to begin planting trees off some of our hiking trails (and freeways).

* When we have a yard, we'll start composting and won't use harmful pesticides or chemicals on our lawn. And we'll shit on our neighbor's lawn and use the dead leaves from their bushes to wipe our asses. At least we won't be using their mail anymore.

* Instead of using motorized vehicles (i.e. a dirt bike, a 4-wheeler, or a jet-ski) to move our fat from one place to the next, we hike, bike and kayak.

Okay, so I made some jokes in there, but really - It's not about living conveniently anymore, it's about living responsibly.

And speaking of living responsibly, I wanted to tell you about how I inadvertently pissed off a monk yesterday while I was drunk on Retsina and Ouzo by calling a nun a bitch, but I thought that this topic took precedence, so I'll have to tell you about that later.