Bush Man
The other day, Will and I were out at the pool and again, I was feeling relaxed and rejuvenated from swimming my laps and soaking up some sunshine. The stress of being over-worked lately slipped away from me as my body glided through the water and with each stroke I felt more human again and less like a lifeless monster.
After we walked back into the condo and greeted and fawned over the dogs, acting as though they hadn't seen us in months (and we did the same), I took my swim trunks off and hung them in the laundry room to dry. I took the towel and finished drying myself and thought that it would probably be a good time to trim my toenails while they were soft and while I was thinking of it. So, then I said, "Oh, I really need to trim..."
And Will rather enthusiastically interrupted, "YEAH! YOU CAN BARELY SEE IT!!!"
And I continued, "my toenails...I need to trim my toenails, Will."
Then Will replied, "Oh...yeah...those too."
Stumble It!
posted by Kevin Charnas | 8:40 PM
34 Comments:
Oh well, Kevin....I am with Will.
Trim that shit, you're growing a friggin' bush!
Leave the toenails alone and tackle that hairy monster--with the quickness!
You sure you didn't have a cat fall into your pants? I know you have had cats stuck to your crotch before by your own atrition. It's legendary actually.
I'm just saying... what was that cat's name?
What is it they say? Trim the hedge and the tree looks bigger!
Ha Ha, I hate all the "grooming" that we all must do for swimsuit season! We are all a bunch of apes! :)
Carrie
Ha!
I saw a woman on the metro yesterday who apparently does not believe in shaving her legs. I think it's great when people don't feel the need to conform to society's expectations of them, but for some reason, this totally skeeved me out. I'm shuddering just thinking of it.
I LOVE what carriebrett said!
HAHAH!
I remember the mother person tellin gme once that 'the honeymoon was over' when you did things like clip your toenails in front of a lover.
I'm just saying... what was that cat's name?
Pooper. I always pee in the bushes.
No, I meant the cat that Kevin surpressed against his crotch while running naked around our friends house screaming something about "don't want to ruin the punchline".
Kev, you should tell that story since you're on the topic of cats.
jesus christ...
i should've known better than to post this.
xtasy - i do need to trim, i've gotten way to lazy.
jim - you are in such trouble. HA! and, you're right, i think that story is going to have to be told very soon.
carrie - i'm half Greek and half Irish - total ape. however, just for the record - YOU CAN TOTALLY SEE IT! HE'S FULL OF SHIT! LOL.
banana - totally with you.
~d - even though i've gotten lazy, i still don't trim my toenails in front of him.
admiral - thanks for peeing and not pooping.
bah ha ha ha ha ha!
now i total understand the comment on my blog.
jesus christ...
i should've known better than to post this.
I wish I had a dollar for each time I've said that.
'Tis the bloggers lament . . .
LOL thats great. but kevin, trim the bush. if will can't see it thats a problem for you! lol
"...I felt more human again and less like a lifeless monster."
And then Will goes and makes you feel like a HAIRY monster! I hate that for ya. :)
Day-am. I don't know which is worse. Ever get awakened in the night by a sharp toenail to the calf? Not pleasant.
--Kelly Kelly
you know, at least the verb "trim" was used as opposed to "shave." there are just certain places i believe a razor (or hot wax for that matter) should never go. i should think that claw-like toenails would be more of a concern, though. ah, well. at least now you know the expectations.
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.
Why trim when you could braid it?
(ick, never mind)LOL
OH MY GOD. I love reading your blog. I learn so so so much!!! Bustiers and go go boots and trimming...yeeeeeehaw!!!
LMFAO!!! he's funny.
AND you totally have to pony up the cat story now, the curiosity is killing us cats.
which reminds me why I hate bangs
we have a friend who likes to point out that, "no one likes to eat sushi off the barber shop floor."
that's all i'm saying.
ever.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
how could i forget? they say that body hair is a much better indication of "size" than shoe size. i'm sure at this point in your relationship all that stuff is well documented. it's a tidbit that helped some of my lovely non-androgenous buddies feel better, though. i think i just totally spelled androgenous wrong. ah, well.
Maybe you could cornrow it and adorn it with beads.
It would beat bells on a pussy, that's for sure!
Kelly & Kat, you guys make my toenails sound like I'm a troll! LOL. between the hair and the nails, (neither really being THAT long) maybe I'm in denial that I really am one? HA!
And Kat, never heard of that one...humm...sounds good to me though! :)
Catherine - see? He makes me sound like a troll.
Becky - VERY good point.
Admiral - amen.
Painter - maybe I'm a tranie-troll?
Nikki & Attila - a rasta-tranie-troll? HA!
ACG - at least I don't torture myself with wax. :)
Denise - I will fess-up, I promise. It really is something I should write about...
Chica - a WHOLE new visual for me... :)
Kristin - as usual, I BURST out laughing! A great ending to a terrible week.
he who laughs last laughs best bahahahhahahahaha
I hope you are wearing a speedo and letting it all hang out the sides!
oh, them's fightin' words.
I hope you gave him what-for.
Am I the only one who wants to know WHY WIll was looking at???? his hoo ha when it should have been his toes??? LOL ;o)
Great stuff here!
Trim, Please for all that is good and right in the world...keep the farea well groomed...
you Kill me...BAWAAAHHHHHHH
OH and Fashion Polista here says NO banana hammacks allowed. EWWW. I don't care how hot you are...NOT ALLOWED. Especially if you don't wax!
I couldn't stop laughing...
Great blog...
woo hoo. everything looks better with a trim.
Lisa
GOOD for you, Kevin! I am really impressed-and NOT being sarcastic! that is cool! I bet you even close the door to shit, huh? YAY you for keeping some things 'private'. Giving birth-ummm-kind of robbed me of any modesty I thought i had.
i'm not picking on your toenails. i recognize that i keep getting these nasty snags on mine and don't like dealing with my own toe-weapons much less anybody else's. really it's all about common courtesy and practicality.
So have we come to a consensus on the Great Toenail Debate of '06?
;)
Boy, that Will, he sure loves him some awkward remarks, huh?
I heart you, Kevin. Nice smiley moment after an awkward and annoying "I don't know you people" party. :)
Half greek must mean your like a friggen Sasquatch huh? No wonder he wanted the trim!
OMG will is way too funny.
but now i'm scared of the mental image in my head of trimming going on.
damn.
m
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