Balance

I hate feeling like I felt for most of the day today. I didn't lash out at anyone except myself for being such a baby. Well, there was that old woman crossing the street that I knocked over. She's was so skinny, there was NO way she was going to eat all those groceries. But that was it...I think.

When I went to go get that entire pizza for lunch, they were closed due to a gas leak. So, I walked my sorry ass over to Subway. When the girl behind the counter looked at me, complete deadpan expression, she said, "What do you want?" I said, "Are you having a bad day too?" Then she got a real big smile, 'cause you know, misery loves company, and she said, "Yep."

She was nice for a minute or so, until the camaraderie wore off. And as she was making my sandwich, her eyes bore down into the bun and a scowl began to reappear, I couldn't help thinking that if the glass shield were actually a wall that I couldn't see through, she just might use one of her ass cheeks instead of that spoon to smear the tuna fish on the bread.

Well, I was really trying to contemplate why I was in such a nasty mood. It's simple really, I've been working too much. And I've lost a balance that I'm ususally really good about keeping. My Dad says something in Greek; "Blakienuukieopolis" not really, he does say something in Greek that means; Moderation in all things. But that word isn't it. In any case, I haven't been moderating very well.

So, I made sure that I relaxed while I ate my malice-made tuna fish sandwich. I forced myself to do a workout on the way home. I drove with the windows down and the sunroof open. The sun was out for the first time in a week and between the sun and the wind, it felt like a hug to my body. After I arrived home and made a big fuss over the dogs, I brewed some tea and sat down on the patio with one of Robert Thurman's books: Infinite Life. I felt the tensions of the day thaw and dissipate. And as the mountains took on their pink and purple hues in their path of the setting sun, I found it easier to breathe.


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