Things I've Said (or Yelled) in the Last 12 Hours:

1. As our friends Kami and Susan were leaving our home last night, I unfortunately yelled into the crisp midnight air, for all the neighbors to hear; "YOU'D FIND A WAY TO GET ME PREGNANT!!!"

2. While I was talking with Mom and Dad today on my cell phone about whether or not my Dad should carry Nitro with him, especially while he's in his Cardiac ReHab Class (he had a double by-pass, a valve replacement and a valve repair in January). He said that a nurse and my sister-in-law (an ER physician) said that if he would have had angina that he would've been perscribed it.

So, I said (thinking I'm being humorous): "Did you tell them that you didn't think that guys had anginas?"

My folks: "What?"

I repeated: "Did you tell them that you didn't think that guys had anginas?"

My folks: "Huh?"

I repeated: "Did you tell them... that you didn't think... that GUYS HAD ANGINAS?"

My folks: "What?"

I then yelled, for the neighbors to hear: "DID YOU TELL THEM, THAT YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT GUYS HAD ANGINAS!!!???"

My folks: ('cause they put me on speaker phone with them 24/7) "Oh, that's gross...yeah, that's not funny....ew."

3. Will and I were walking the dogs back from the beach and I say, "Do you ever like to put dogs' ears in your mouth?"

And he looks at me like he just tasted a shit sandwich and says, "All dogs?"

And incredulously I say, "No, just our dogs. I don't mean that I put their ears on my tongue! Just in my mouth. You know, I just kind of nibble on them with the outside of my lips..." (Feeling dumber by the second).

And he says, "No."